Working on Perfect

Come Visit ...

2009-06-01T04:35:00.002-04:00

Come visit me at my new place

mickeyears.wordpress.com

It's still me. I'm just a little more focused on the stuff I love and a little less focused at the stresses of life.
I'll be closing this blog and my other one soon. And I'll be writing exclusively over there. It's not perfect yet, but we're getting there.
I'd love to see you over there.

And we're Back - Our Disney experience

2009-05-09T10:09:00.003-04:00

I can't believe that our week at Disney World is over. But, it was the most amazing trip ever.

We stayed at the Walt Disney World Resort's Polynesian Hotel. (also known as the "Poly") and it was this beautiful hotel on the monorail line. Actually, it was a group of longhouses (or mini hotel buildings) that at all had Hawaiian names - ours was Tokelau. At the centre of the complex is the Great Ceremonial House that houses the monorail station, gift shops and restaurants. So, it was pretty neat in that when you arrive you're at this tourist place, but when you leave there you are in paradise. It was absolutely wonderful.
There were 2 hotel pools - the quiet pool which we faced, and the volcano pool that had a huge slide. We loved it!
And of course there was the World itself.
After we arrived we had a swim and unpacked, and then we went to the Magic Kingdom. We decided to hit a couple of rides (Jungle Book!) and then head for dinner with Pooh and friends at the Crystal Palace.
Matt told us that he is far too old for Winnie the Pooh, but we explained that this trip was for him and Coco, and so some things would be more focused on her.
There wasn't much protest, and as it turned out, Matt loved visiting with the Pooh characters as much as the rest of us.
This was Coco first time seeing large characters since she was a tiny baby, and we weren't quite sure how she would do.
As you can see, she was just fine. In fact, she screamed and laughed every time that one of the characters came near. We realized that we have a Disney nut on our hands at the age of 1!
The downside of this dinner is that we realized from about 10 minutes in that as great as it is to meet the characters, neither child was on their best behaviour at the character/buffet meals. It was kind of funny because the restaurants we didn't initially book were the quieter ones where you stay in your seat the whole time.
After a couple of experiences at the quieter restaurants we soon learned that both kids needed the break from the Disney excitement.
So, we stuck with the restaurants with characters we *really* wanted to meet (like Cinderella), and then switched for non-buffets.
The irony? Our family's favourite meals ended up being at the restaurants we didn't expect either child would handle (think a swanky steakhouse at the Contemporary Hotel).
Over the next few days I'm going to tell you more about the trip. There's too much to tell you in one post!
But, for now, one of my favourite pictures!

So Long, Farewell

2009-04-29T14:03:00.007-04:00

I have a couple of hours to tie up loose ends at work.
And a birthday party for our nanny.
Of course there are a few odds and ends I need to put in our suitcases. And then we're off...

We'll be hanging out at this pool

And eating this

And hopefully many of these (dole whips)

Spending our evenings watching these

And, oh yeah, chilling with these guys in our spare time.
We'll try not to miss you too much.
Pray for our sanity while we're gone. Phat Daddy does crazy things like wear Mickey Mouse clothing, poses for photos and wears Mickey ears. Matt is allowed to be himself when we're there - his crazy, enthusiastic non-stop self. And he agrees to hang out with Princesses (for Coco's sake). I go completely insane, and let myself believe in magic, Princesses and all the fairy tales.
And Coco... well, this will be all new to her! We brought her at 3 months, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't remember it. So, I can't wait to see her reactions.
Just thinking about it all makes me cry.
I can't wait to dine with princesses, see Mickey, ride the monorail and stay at a fancy resort. But, mostly, I just can't wait to spend 7 days with my family. Just us!
Disney World HERE WE COME!!!!

Coordinated

2009-04-24T06:13:00.002-04:00

When I decided I wanted to coordinate my kids' looks for Disney I was thinking I'd put them in matching clothes.
I did not expect them to coordinate head injuries so that they would both have giant purple bruises on their foreheads.

I also didn't anticipat spending an evening trying to remove a stone from Matt's head. (Phat Daddy finally got it out.
Fun times

After the Diagnosis - What I wish I could tell you

2009-04-22T09:12:00.002-04:00

My son has ADHD. We’ve been to multiple doctors, psychologists and now a psychiatrist. This diagnosis is a culmination of about a year of seeking professional help, and 2 years of us saying there was “something” and being told that no, he’s a boy, etc etc.

I thought, stupidly, that once we had a diagnosis, once we could say to our family and to teachers and coaches that our son has “special needs” that people would understand and give him a break. But, instead, in some ways, it’s harder. And, I think part of it is that people aren’t quite sure what to do. So, here are my suggestions as someone going through all of this.

1) Be supportive Be there for us and understand that as wonderful as it is that we have an explanation, we’ve just been told that our child has a psychological issue that there is no cure for and that medication may or may not help.Right now I can’t get enough of the people who tell me “you’re doing a great job and you’re doing amazing things for your child – good for you.” I need to hear that right now because in a way I feel like I’ve somehow failed my child (even though I *know* I haven’t.)
2) Knowledge is power, so keep some knowledge to yourself. Information is fantastic. I appreciate that you are trying to help if you give me articles on ADHD. I get that. But. What I don’t need right now are articles that:
a. Tell me that ADHD is made up so that the drug companies can make more money. I know that people believe this, but articles like that do not help right now. We’ve spent 3 years searching for a diagnosis and have one.
b. Blame me as a parent. I understand tv may contribute to ADHD. I understand that my traumatic birth may have contributed to this. I understand that even having post-partum depression may have contributed. Seriously. I FEEL BAD ENOUGH. No need to reinforce it. Also, I've probably read it.
c. Googled - with no source. If it’s an article that you pulled up by typing ADHD into google – I’ve probably already read it. I’ve been researching this for years. I’ve read the books, articles & briefs and listened to the podcasts. Also, I’ve spoken with the doctors. If you have an article claiming something "cured" ADHD. Probably not accurate.
d. If you really have to share the article with me that’s fine. But be discreet. Don’t hand me an article saying I caused my kid’s ADHD and then expect me to discuss it. This is an emotional issue for me.
3) Ask us what method we’re using and if there’s any way you can educate yourself I am so happy to share the method we are using. For us the book that is our Bible is “The Explosive Child” by Stuart Ablon. The method in this book is fantastic. It literally changed by life as a parent because for the first time I understood my child. When I researched psychologists for my son I called his office and asked for a recommendation. Our school believes in his method and they use it with our son because it is what works for him. The basic premise is that kids do well if they can. This book is amazing and I’m grateful I discovered it. I’m happy to lend my copy to people who want to read it. But, please, be on the same page as me. Understand why there are rules that I don’t enforce. Understand why I don’t believe in time-outs and I try very hard not to get angry. It’s a couple hours of your time to understand the situation. Please, take the time.
4) Opinions are okay, but tread lightly I know medication is a complicated issue. As is naturopathic medicine. As in any approach you take to a problem. I’m not opposed to hearing another side. But, it needs to be done gently.Think about what you’re going to say and if it’s really necessary. And remember that as parents we are doing out best. Please don’t assume that we aren’t agonizing over every decision. I don’t want my child on meds either. I know the dangers of Ritalin. I’m getting 2nd and 3rd opinions from medical professionals before I do anything here. So please, don’t talk to one person who knows someone who was once on medication and had a problem – and then relay it to me like it’s something I don’t know.Ask yourself – do you really think I would put my kid on drugs for his brain without thinking it through? NO.
5) Want to help? Here’s how The biggest help right now is to treat my kid like he’s normal. In fact, treat him like the super incredible amazing kid that he is. Of course there are areas he’s not successful. He can’t sit at a fancy restaurant for an hour and behave. He will have a meltdown, everyone will get angry, and he will feel like he failed you.LET HIM BE SUCCESSFUL. Take him to the playground and let him show you how he’s mastered sliding down the fireman’s pole. Let him take you for a walk. Have him tell you a story. Let him show you his drawings or how he prints his name. Ask him about Star Wars or about animals. Play with him, at his level.Want to eat with us? How about asking if he’ll help you bake cookies. And let him do stuff like crack the eggs (instead of worrying about the mess), mix the flour and have “taste tests”. Your reward will be some giant hugs and a kid who feels loved. And when you’ve done all those things, tell him what an amazing kid he is, and then come and tell me. Please. Because I love my child more than life itself, and I am so proud of him. And, I need to know that what I see in him, is what you see in him.

I DO NOT Want my own business

2009-04-17T09:19:00.002-04:00

To be clear, I'm not knocking anyone who has their own business (i.e. p*mpered chef, etc). But, when I say I'm not interested, and don't want to be updated on business opportunities, I mean it.
Of course I will attend parties. I love some of the products I have and happily support my friends who sell it. But, I am a firm believer in the fact that when I say I'm happy with my career and don't want a side business I mean it. And if I tell you that over and over, seriously, move on.

So, today I received an e-mail. From a "friend" who has spent the last 2 years contacting me only in the hopes of making me a consultant. It's gotten more and more tacky and insulting. We used to get together as friends. Now if we want to hang out it is only at one of her many parties or open houses (to sell product). When Coco was born I got an e-mail saying congratulations and now would be the time to sell candles. Really?

But today was the icing on the cake when I received this e-mail: (edited by me)

--------------

I know you had some interest in the (Insert Company
Name) Opportunity, this month there is an extra $100 in product up for
grabs to add to the already amazing $500 starter kit that you can earn for
FREE!

Click here for more details.

Let me knwo
if you would like more information about the business
opportunity.

Also there is an opportunity to see (Insert
Company Name) office on Date at 7p.m. at our Regional Meeting where
you can also hear more about the opportunity, if you would like to join us and
receive a free gift for coming out let me know.

----------

So I responded.

Hi
Thanks so much for the business opportunities you've been presenting me
with.
At this point, I'm actually focused on pursuing my career in
communications. I was just promoted to the position of XXX!

I've been taking advantage of some amazing challenges and opportunities
through my career here at (My Company). It's great because, like you, as I've
progressed in my chosen position, I've been able to take advantage of some great
work-related programs

Actually, because I'm so excited by some of the great stuff that has been
going on here at (MY Company), I wanted to direct you to the
career opportunities (I put a link) here. There may be something
you would find exciting.

Again, thanks for thinking of me. If you are ever interested in
our careers (inserted another link) let me know!
You know, at this I'm done. I've said my bit and maybe she'll get my point. I think friendships are important, but when you hit the point where all you are is a bunch of dollar signs to someone I don't think the friendship is worth it. Do you?

Her First Walking Shoe

2009-04-10T08:24:00.003-04:00

Coco is walking.
Or running.
And, though she has many adorable shoes, I went out and bought her proper walking shoes so that we can conquer Disney (in 20 days!) . I wanted something cute but functional.
I went in not planning to buy these shoes since they are pricey.
But, after trying on pretty much every other pair the store offered we tried these on - and they fit perfectly!
It turns out that Coco has a wide foot that is also long.
Just like her mom.
And, how could I resist the pink ones with the giant rhinestone?
I actually went to the women's shoe store to find good shoes for me.
I was being practical and asked for all the features of a shoe I needed for disney.

My selection. Not quite as cute. And, admittedly I did ask the woman (who was a shoe expert and knew the geox line) if they had anything like Coco's.
Not really.
And, as she pointed out, a pik rhinestone on a baby shoe is far cute than a giant pink rhinestone on an adult shoe.
True.

And, hey. There's always the bedazzler I store in my closet. But, I'm thinking that perhaps I should leave it there and accept that women who are 30 should not bedazzle their shoes.

Five

2009-04-05T08:10:00.005-04:00

Today my son turns five. Five!
How did that happen? Seriously. Five.

I know how my niece is feeling! It's shocking.

And what a year this past one has been.
Matt (who has told me not to call him Doodle, so okay) became a big brother just before he turned 4. And, to see him as a big brother warms my heart. He's kind and he's loving. And, he is protective. I can't tell you the number of times he's caught her from putting stuff in her mouth, has helped her get up when trying to stand.

This year we learned a lot about Matt and his brain.
We learned he is smart. So so smart. He started jk and despite a bit of a rocky start he has flourished. We've discovered that he loves math and science. He absolutely loves to learn about anatomy.
We started to realize that when he was obsessed with the model of a brain at his daycare.
But this fascination with all things anatomy continued. He loves skeletons. That was his halloween costume. He reads body books whenever we go to the library, and has been known to sit and flip through various books about bones when we ask him to read quietly. In fact, when we go to our naturpath he always asks to read her "body book" which is a pictoral representation of the body's different system. It's amazing to me.
This flows nicely into school. In a meeting the other day his teacher told us that February was "love month" and they didn't do any science. And, he missed his science.
I don't know where this came from. Not me. I think my 5 year old knows more about biology than I do.

Matt is starting to read. He's starting to print. He's doing math. It all amazes me!

And, then there are the other things he tries. He's done karate, swimming & gymnastics. They aren't all a hit, but he's tried them. And that makes me proud. He's been asking about violin lessons lately. So we may give that a try.

All in all, it's been a year. Being home with Matt, watching him grow as a person, a brother, my child and my friend ... it's been amazing. I can't wait to see what this year holds for him.

Happy Birthday!

A Birthday Weekend

2009-03-30T06:13:00.007-04:00

This weekend was Coco's 1st birthday. Specifically her birthday was on Saturday, but the celebrations started on Friday night when my sister hosted an amazing party!

I really wanted to do something special for Coco without tons and tons of people. And, since Coco and her uncle have birthdays that fall one day apart we celebrated both.

On Saturday we had some family time. we got ready for the open house first birthday and we spent some time at the garden store, which surprisingly both kids loved.
We ended up planting some flowers and getting our house looking spring like. We haven't started planting our garden yet, but we
did get our house in better shape, and I went a little crazy with Easter Eggs.

But, of course the important part was our birthday girl. Can you believe she is 1 already? I can't.

My Birthday Girl is 1

2009-03-28T10:18:00.005-04:00

My little girl turns one today. I can't believe that one year ago today she was born. This has been a quick, wonderful and overwhelming year.

Happy Birthday, Coco!

And ... she's on the move. She's now officially walking. I can't believe how quickly this year has flown by.

Happy Birthday, Little One!

Swimming Lessons ... the fun

2009-03-26T13:22:00.002-04:00

Doodle has weekly swimming lessons.
To say they are the bane of my existence is an understatement. I hate them. I hate the other mothers there who are rude and whisper about him when I am sitting right there.
I hate that no matter how hard he tries Doodle can't behave in the class. It's just TOO EXCITING to be in the pool bouncing around with other kids and it's really hard for him to behave.
Is he bad? No. But he's not angelic. So, I sit on the pool deck, and if his behaviour gets out of control I step in and deal with it. It works for me. It works for Doodle. It works for the teacher. The other parents not so much.
I hate that other parents think it's okay for their kids to throw buckets of water at the teacher, but criticize my kid for spitting.
I hate that another mother called my son a brat, and implied I wasn't watching him, doing my job, when in fact I was. I do.
Part of me is angry because it's unfair that my son struggles with something (behaviour) that other parents feel they can critique when I would never do the same to their kid. It makes me sad that they are so busy seeing what's wrong with my kid that they don't notice he's being kind to their kid, and in fact their kid wants to play with mine.
So much of the time I appreciate the kind things people say and do.
The fact that there's someone at our church, many people in fact, but one in particular, whom Doodle loves and listens to is incredible.
The fact that the other moms at school welcome me to stay at their kids' birthday parties so that I can take over if he gets too excited.
The fact that Doodle's teacher, and school resource team, do their very best to make sure Doodle thrives and fits in overwhelms me.
The fact that Doodle's doctor, naturopath & psychologist all have figured out ways to treat him while keeping him entertained, is incredible.
And, most of the time that's what I dwell on. We're so incredibly lucky to have family, friends, doctors and teachers who see the best in Doodle, who remind me that he is an amazing kid, and assure me that when we figure out how to help with with a few things he'll be even more amazing.
Most of the time that's what I remember.
But then there are days when all that positivity is shot down, by a mom who thinks my kid is a brat, who thinks that her kid is superior because he what? can handle a swimming lesson?
Those moms? I hate them.
I am not about to go announcing the fact that my kid has ADHD. It shouldn't matter to other parents.
And, I'm not for one second going to apologize for my child.
If he hits someone or is mean, then yes, I expect that he apologizes. But, I'm not going to apologize because he needs more attention, struggles to behave or, god forbid, tries to get a turn ahead of your kid. Who cares if he is first in line to swim with the teacher?
Quite honestly, I'm glad he's like that. He knows what he wants and so does everyone. I could take a lesson from him on assertiveness.
But, before you tell me how to discipline my kid, teach your own kid that if he grabs something out of another kid's hands there may be a reaction.
Case in point, last night when a little girl asked for a toy from Doodle he handed it over. When a boy grabbed a toy out of Doodle's hand he grabbed it back.
Why should I be critiqued? And, also. This is childhood. Stand back and let them solve the problem. If there's no danger involved, who cares in the end which one gets the toy? I don't.
And, you know what? When my child has a temper tantrum because swimming lessons are over, dirty looks shot at me are not effective. He's 4. I'm doing my best. And whether or not there is a reason for these temper tantrums, they happen. Here's a secret. The best way to stop a tantrum is not to get angry and frustrated. It's to stay calm and deal with it. That's what I do. Or at least that's what I try to do. So, if I'm showing empathy to my kid who still wants to be swimming that's my business. Not yours.
Sometimes parenting sucks. Apparently for me it sucks the most at swimming lessons.
I am so dreading next Wednesday night.

It's the Little Things

2009-03-24T08:57:00.006-04:00

Lately I've been discovering that it's the little things that make life so much easier. Here's my most recent list.

1) A programmable coffee maker.
It sounds so simple, but really, who knew that setting everything up the night before and simply programming the coffee to brew at 5:45 would make my mornings so pleasant?
Why did I not figure this out till I was 30? Why?

2) Setting my clothes out ahead of time
I've always felt like putting my day's clothes out the night before was kind of pointless.
I had this idea that it would make me less spontaneous in the morning.
With 2 kids it seems that mornings are crazy and my routine of planning my outfits the night before has made for a lot less stress in the morning.
Unless, of course, I don't like how I look and then there is stress. But, whatever. Not as much stress.

3)Shopping at stores that have cup holders in the cart
Who knew such a wonderful invention existed?
The Longos near my house has a Starbucks in it, and also has these carts with cup holders.
And they have organics.
And a huge produce section.
And my kids like shopping there.
Bonus that Home Depot is practically next door.
I had no idea that grocery shopping could be relaxing if you have a tall soy latte and happy children.
And since we've been doing "full" grocery shops on a weekly basis (admittedly not always at Longos) we have been going out for dinner a lot less.

4) Baby Legs - They are these things that are like leg warmers.
My sister passed a pair down to me and I LOVE them (as does our nanny). They are super adorable on Chloe. She wears a ton of skirts and dresses, but tights are annoying because a)the feet are slippery and b) they are annoying for diaper changes. These are soooo easy. And cute. I must buy some more.

I could go on. There are the window markers that Doodle loves to use in the van. And, the hair product that straightens my hair. But, that's another post for another day!

Stupid Parenting

2009-03-18T20:41:00.004-04:00

I try to be a good parent.
I'm not perfect, but I do try my best.
So, tonight when we decided to go to Bad Boy to look at appliances we made a big deal of it so that Doodle would be excited to go.
It went well for quite awhile.
He sat in comfy couches and watched the Matrix while Mike, Coco and I looked at washers and dryers.
For close to an hour we had a really easy visit.
And then it came time to figure out the financial stuff. I was fully involved in the negotiating process. And then we debated. And debated some more and made a decision.
Voila ...

Nice, eh?
Anyway.
Once we got through negotiation we had to figure out paying and delivery and about a million other things that should have take 5 minutes but took 45.
So, in my attempt to be a good parent, especially since it was approaching bedtime, I entertained my kids. Somehow that turned into playing hide and go seek with my 4 year old.
I LET MY 4 YEAR OLD HIDE IN A FURNITURE STORE.
It was fun till I lost him.
He was hidden, thank God, in a bedroom set. I walked past the set 5 times, but did not see him.
It took Mike and I, 5 staff members and some freaking out to discover him.
What was I thinking? Seriously.
We were having fun. Until I lost my kid. And ran around the store panicking.
And that was my stupid parenting decision of the night.
Who found him? A sales associate who totally guessed where he would hide. Smart guy.
We left moments after and decided to watch a video in the van while Phat Daddy finished the transaction.

One Year

2009-03-16T12:51:00.002-04:00

It's been one year since I went on mat leave. And, in 2 weeks our princess will turn one.
And, she has a nickname!
Somewhere between our nanny arriving and me going back to work, we started calling the baby CoCo.
Phat Daddy hates it.
I love it.
Even funnier is that it sometimes gets turned into "Coco Koala" (I don't know why) and "Coco Puff".
And, the best part is that people truly believe that is her name! I love it. In the past couple of weeks she's really changed. First she learned to dance. She's attempting to walk and is taking steps and stands on her own.
And she blows kisses. We made a movie last night and I will figure out how to post it. It's pretty cute.
And Doodle? He's moving right along.
I haven't talked much about his diagnosis. We needed some time to let the whole idea settle and to think about it and to talk to people about it.
Where we're at?
Of course we have spoken to our family doctor. She's referred us to a pediatrician who specialized in ADHD. I'm not sure I need a second opinion on the diagnosis, but I do want a more fulsome explanation of the medication.
And we also went to see our naturopath.
We decided to put Doodle on a stronger regimen of homeopathic remedies and see how does. So, we're trying it. We started on Saturday, and you generally need a couple of days for remedies to kick in.
It's hard to see if there has been a difference. It's good to start a regimen on a weekend because you can see if there are any adverse reactions. But, for me it's hard to see if there's a difference, really, in his activity level. Seriously, it was beautiful weather and my child who has been cooped up all winter was allowed to go crazy and play outside! How do you guage hyperactivity? I was going just as crazy as Doodle and even Coco was extra excited.
So, we'll wait and see.
This week is a funny week anyway. There are no evening activities because of March break, and since the weather is nice he'll get a lot more fresh air.
But, I'm remaining hopeful.

And, seriously ... i'm loving this weather!

Poof Butt & Pricetag

2009-03-04T06:26:00.002-05:00

My son has never had a comfort item.
Well, there's the soother. Don't get me started on that one.
But, he's never had a stuffed animal that he's truly attached to. He's had toys he loved, but no real object we can't live without.
I had Paddington bear.
My sister had her yellow blanket.
But Doodle, nothing.
Until we had our princess. And she got some stuffed animals.
Two of them were little stuffed dogs. And, a few months ago Doodle discovered them.
I asked him their names and he said "Poof Butt" and "Price tag" - I don't know why.
But, in the past few months he's become totally attached to these dogs. They go everywhere. He sleeps with them at night. He brings them to school for quiet time. When we go out he brings them up to the baby's crib and makes sure they are comfortable and sleeping.
But the names????
It kills me every.single.time he tells people their names.
"What? Poof what?"
I have no idea how long this obsession will last. But, I like it!

Diagnosis

2009-02-27T13:50:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Phat Daddy and I met with Doodle's psychologist to get his diagnosis.
Unsurprisingly, it's ADHD - combined.
There was good news and there was bad news. The good news is that Doodle is smart - very smart. In all of the testing he did he scored really well - like 91st percentile and up. The only thing he was behind in was hand coordination (writing/drawing), but he was fairly typical, so not lagging behind.
Where the problem lies is with, as the diagnosis would suggest, hyperactivity and lack of focus/attention.
The long and short of it is that the psychologist is recommending medication.
We haven't decided.
When I asked him on a scale of 1-10 how bad Doodle's ADHD is, he said it was about a 7. That surprised me. I thought we'd be talking a 3. Although it is a random scale.
We're not talking Ritalin. There are other options and ideas to look into.
The major reason I would consider the medication is because of Doodle's lack of self control. He has so many moments DAILY where he does something and then wishes he hadn't. Or can't understand why he did.
And the medication would apparently help with that.
As he gets older I worry that he will hurt himself. For that reason I'd consider it.
So, we're at the point where we need to weigh all the options. Think about what we think is best for our child. And hope that we make the right decision.
But, really, at the end of the day, it freaks me out that we're debating giving our child medication for his brain that he could be on for the rest of his life. It scares me.
But, it also makes me feel like maybe the fact that I'm frustrated with him a lot means that I'm not a bad parent.
So, what's next? Well, thankfully we love Doodle's doctors. So, I called both his GP and Naturopath. Our GP, knowing my discomfort with medication, said I can meet with her or she can refer me to a pediatrician or both. We're going to see our naturopath to discuss options.
But, before all of that ....
We're getting a good night's sleep. Or maybe not. I promised Doodle a sleepover in his bedroom tonight. Well, at least Phat Daddy will get a good night's sleep!

Dentist

2009-02-25T12:44:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was not without incident at the dentist.
I did my best to prepare Doodle for what was to come. We discussed "sleeping" at the dentist and talked about his fears. We met with the child life specialists and Doodle so they could show him the mask and discuss his fears. We brought his stuffed animals (Poof-butt and Pricetag) to keep him comfortable. We did our best.
And, when we brought him into the room where they had the machine and performed the fillings he was pretty excited. He hopped up on the chair, grabbed the mask and was ready to go.
Phew.
HA.
The excitement over the mask lasted about 10 seconds. And then he FREAKED.
I don't blame him, but still. It was a major freak-out and we had to hold him down. He was screaming and the child life specialists were telling me it was okay just as much as they were telling him it was okay. And I stood there.
And then we had to hold him down because at that point there was no turning back. And, I knew he fell asleep watching me hold him down and being scared. And that hour or so he was under sucked.
Majorly.
Then came waking up.
That also sucked. When he woke up he was angry and scared and writhed and kicked and screamed. And as soon as he was awake enough to speak he shouted at me and asked me why I didn't help him when he wanted to take the mask off.
I didn't have an answer. There's no logic, anyway, at that point. He just wanted to be angry.
So, he spent most of the morning being angry. We eventually left. The only way I could calm him down enough to go was to have the child life specialist help us by giving us a mask that he ceremoniously slammed into the garbage. (they sterilize them). It helped.
And then he spent the rest of the drive home being angry.
I felt horrible.
The good news is that his teeth are all filled. The bad news ... I'm not sure he really will willingly go back to the dentist again.

Getting Through the Week

2009-02-24T06:53:00.003-05:00

This week in Doodle's life is a big one.
Today we're going to the dentist to get 4 teeth filled and a full cleaning - under anaesthsia. He's excited. I'm scared.
Thursday we go back and meet with his child psychologist to get a full report. We've spent the past several months going through an assessment process. When we first started thsi process his doctor helped us through some basic assessment tests and there were signs he may have ADHD. But, several months later we finally are getting a full report from the psychologist who has been assessing him.
And, once we get that report we start working on behavioural techniques to "help him be the best kid he can be."
I sort of feel like we're at the tip of the iceberg here.
And, we just need to make it through the week.
But, as for Doodle ... He seems unphased.
He's excited about going to the dentist today.
And, he wants to know how he can behave better. Seriously, he often asks me if he can get his brain to work better so he knows how to behave.
And, as parents we're trying to get everything working.
Wish us luck!

Hanging On

2009-02-13T14:26:00.002-05:00

I know it has been forever since i posted.
I've thought about it and meant too, but I've just been so busy.
Work is good. I'm back in the routine and, dare I say it, enjoying it. Some stuff has changed, but I'm busy and happy and laughing a lot. And, it's nice to wear heels and nice clothes and worry about makeup. I love that stuff.
I miss my kids during the day, but I'm more excited when I get home. And, I don't miss the battles to get Doodle out the door to school. I do miss saying hi to his teacher and the other moms.
And, I'm excited that tomorrow is Valentine's. I get to go on a date with my sweetie. Our amazing nanny offered to watch the kids, even though it's Saturday and her day off. We said maybe, but when she offered 2 more times we decided that she was okay with it. We're going to a restaurant I've been dying to go to. It's a restaurant that used to be a dive, but has been made over into a pretty swanky place.
So, I plan to abandon my diet (to a point) and just enjoy the evening. I'm definitely going for something extravagantly chocolaty for dessert! Yum.
Otherwise things are going well. Maybe it's the change in the weather but everyone has been in better moods. I'm still following my diet program, and I've even started going back to the gym a bit.
And, the kids ...
The baby just got her 8th tooth. Seriously. She's 10.5 months and has 8 teeth. It's insane. I went out and bought her a special teething toy (Sophie the Giraffe) since she's been biting us. The biting has stopped so we're happy.
And Doodle? He has a girlfriend.
More on that later.

Happy Valentine's!

Week One ... Done

2009-02-06T19:00:00.003-05:00

I made it through my first week back at work.
I wasn't sure what to expect. It was nice to be back, to put on work clothes, to dress up and go back. It was great to see friends I missed.
By the end of the week, as I got back into the swing of things and got through some of the work I took on, I remembered the feeling I have at work - the feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. It's so different from being at home, where my days are measured by my kids' schedules, where an accomplishment is getting Doodle to school without losing my temper, successfully introducing a new food to the Princess and keeping her on schedule. And, truly those are accomplishments.
It's a very different measure at work. My goal of today was to finish the press release, attend the meeting, figure out a numbering system. All of that is done.
And then I go home.
And start with the stuff at home: wiping noses, giving hugs, having family cuddles.
The balance isn't quite there yet. I'm exhausted when I get home. And I don't have as much patience. And, I'm unbelieveably jealous some moments of the time our nanny spends with the kids - even though she's amazing and jealousy is ridiculous.
And I'm weaning the baby. That's hard. I don't need a watch to tell me it's noon because my body tells me. I resist the urge to call home to make sure she's eaten. I know she has. And Phat Daddy gets home for lunch to make sure everything is okay.
So life goes on. And in time the feeling of imbalance will work itself out. I'll accept that my kids love me as Mommy and I can't be replaced. And, I'll get back on stride at work and not feel lost. And, maybe I'll even fit into some of my old work clothes again.
And tonight I'm cuddling with my kids and giving them extra kisses. And, I'll be grateful that I have a job and a family and that soon this will all make a whole lot more sense.

My last Week

2009-01-28T07:01:00.008-05:00

This is my last week at home with my kids.
It's hard to believe.
It seems like yesterday that my little baby girl was born.
And I discovered the joys of dressing up a baby girl!
And, it seems like only yesterday that I was getting ready for my baby boy to have his first day of kindergarten. I couldn't imagine dropping him off at the elementary school and trusting that his teacher would take good care of him.
But, I survived that. And Doodle is flourishing and loving school. I know this because yesterday we visited his classroom and he has changed so much. He's happy and listens and sits still during circle time. AND HE'S LEARNING TO READ!

And, it was just last week that our nanny started with us. And, I had to remember that just like I've trusted it's okay to bring Doodle to school and to daycare and to leave him with my sister. And, just like I have trusted the people at church to care for my princess in the nursery. I have to trust that I've made the right decision to go back to work and leave my children with a nanny.

And, it's all okay.

My kids are happy. After a couple of days the baby has stopped crying when I leave. She's happy with this lovely woman who sings to her when she cries and seems to have endless patience. And Doodle? He's just decided that the nanny is part of our family. And, though I'll someday havImage via Wikipediae to explain she's not really ... I'm thrilled he loves her so much.

And, I'm trying to understand my role. I'm trying to remember that the role of Mommy doesn't change for me. Maybe I won't be here all day every day, but I am still the one they want at the end of the day. I'm still the one that gives family cuddles and can throw the rules out the window and declare a Spongebob and ice cream day! I'm still the one who gets up in the night to nurse the baby. And I'm still the one who loves these kids more than anyone could ever imagine, except Phat Daddy.

And, this week I'm trying to relax and enjoy my kids, and appreciate that I've found someone who loves my kids and takes amazing care of them. Of course I'll be sad to go back, but every day I'm feeling better and better about the choice we've made. And ... it also helps that I got a hair cut, some new clothes and shoes, and I'm missing my work friends a whole lot!

Now, what should I wear on my first day back to work?

On the Up Swing

2009-01-23T07:12:00.003-05:00

Our nanny has been here all week now.
The fears I had and then uncertainty that I was feeling are finally going away. Our nanny is amazing, and the children love her.
Everyday has gotten progressively better. The princess is beginning to understand what is going on. She's warmed up to our nanny, and by yesterday she was willingly going to her when I left the house.
The one thing that we are learning, though, is that it is far too confusing for her (right now) to play with the nanny while she knows I'm right there. For instance, if I want to cook and ask our nanny to play with the kids, the baby will sob because she knows I'm right there. It makes it a little difficult for us to do some stuff, but I don't see it as a huge issue. I've been going out more, and leaving her. And, she seems quite happy both when I leave and when I return.
I have to admit that having our contractor still working on the basement is making things a little easier. He has been telling me how things are going and reassuring me that she is very kind with the kids.
And, as for Doodle? He loves her. I was quite worried about him, but it wasn't necessary. He thinks the nanny is his new best friend, and has told me more than once that I can go back to work now.
I'm not taking that personally. I'm thrilled that he's ready for that. It makes me feel that as a mom I've done my job preparing him for me going back to work. And, I'm thrilled that we have found someone who seems to truly love my children.

And ... on a completely different note. I'm still doing really well on the diet plan from my naturopath. I got a bunch of blood tests back and learned a lot about what is going on with my body. The good news is that there's nothing wrong with me. Image via WikipediaThe bad news is that my metabolism is really slow and my hormones are out of whack. But, it seems like a lot of the changes I've made are working. I've lost 9 lbs since New Years! And, I don't really feel like I'm on a diet. I'm enjoying food and not craving sugar. So, life is good!

Overwhelmed

2009-01-19T14:17:00.002-05:00

It's our first day with our new nanny.
To say everything right now is overwhelming is kind of an understatement. Doodle loves our nanny. He can't get enough of her. The baby ... not so much.
The baby wants me. I want to go and comfort her, and I can't. I mean, I can, but the truth is that I need to let her know our nanny is her friend. And I know it will all work out. But right now it's hard. It sucks to have the baby monitor on and listen and not go in and help.
But, it could be worse.
It could be worse because I could be going to work tomorrow - not next week.
I could be leaving my kids with somoene I don't like.
I could be putting them in a daycare when I'm not ready. Yes. This is good. But, it's also hard.

In Which I Jinx Myself

2009-01-13T06:46:00.002-05:00

I'm kind of afraid to write this for fear of the jinx.
But ...
This new diet I'm on (thanks to my naturopath) is AMAZING. I'm basically following the Blood Type Diet. And taking some supplements. And, it's working. I'm beginning to lose weight.I know because my wii fit told me.
But, not only that. I'm feeling wonderful.
Usually I'm asleep by 10. Lately I've been up till 11 and then go to bed because it's time, not because I'm exhausted.
And, I feel well. Like, healthy and happy and ready to go. Not sluggish.
Oh - and I've lost a couple pounds.
I've cut out a lot. Basically my food does not include: wheat, dairy, pork or corn. I know this sounds excessive, but I'm totally dealing with it. And, enjoying it.
Love love love.

And the New Year Begins

2009-01-09T07:37:00.002-05:00

Image via WikipediaI don't make a lot of New Year's Resolutions.
I used to do Weight Watchers and it drove me crazy when the room swelled because of the "resolution people" who dropped out in a couple of weeks.
So I vowed I would not be one of those people.
But, with all of the hoopla about diets, and the wii fit that we brought into our house (which weighs me all the time) weight had been on my mind. So, when I got an e-mail from my naturopath (she moved offices) that mentioned she works with people who need to lose weight ... I decided to book an appointment.
Here's the thing. I love my naturopath, but I never go for myself. I always go for my kids. I LOVE the results I've seen in my kids, but I just didn't think to go for me.
So, yesterday I went.
It was such a pleasant and uplifting visit.
In fact, weight wasn't even the main thing we spoke about. We spoke about my general health, and she kindly pointed out that I need to be working on my own health, and giving myself the same wonderful supplements I give my kids.
And we spoke at length about nannies, returning to work, and stress and anxiety. I can't tell you how much it put my mind at ease to discuss the medical side of the anxiety I was feeling and my kids are feeling.
And finally we got to the topic of weight.
As a result? I was worried that she'd say I was morbidly obese (I'm not). I was afraid she'd make me give up coffee (I can still drink it - but I have to cut back). I was afraid I would have to drastically change my diet. Okay.I do. But ...
I admitted that my willpower sucks especially when it comes to stuff like sugar and bread. For the first time ever she told me it's NOT a willpower issue. Apparently I have something that makes me more prone to craving sugar. Seriously. For the first time ever someone, a doctor, told me that I don't struggle with my weight because I can't control myself, but that it's actually a vitamin deficiency.
So, there's no diet plan, per se. There's no list of foods I can't eat. There's no point counting or calorie reading or any of that.
Instead I've been instructed on what I MUST eat. I'm taking protein shakes and eating a bunch of stuff I truly enjoy. I'm cutting out a bunch of stuff that I already know make my body not work. And, we're seeing how that all works for me.
Wish me luck. I'm looking forward to all of this!

Ho Ho Ho~

2008-12-31T11:19:00.004-05:00

Notice the coffee pot that is brewing ...

Doodle is ordering

2008-12-30T18:20:00.002-05:00

wow!
I logged on and relized it's been a long time since I blogged. I don't know where the time goes!
It's been a wonderful and busy couple of weeks around here. Christmas was wonderful. It was a magical morning. Doodle was thrilled Santa had come, and the princess was dumbfounded by the presents and the wrapping paper and the excitement of the day.
The big gift that both kids received was a play kitchen. I hoped that they would share it and I wasn't disappointed. They loved it, and play in it constantly. Doodle makes "meals" for the Princess and she dances to the music on the jukebox. It's adorable.
Santa was pretty good to me too :)
We got a wii as a family gift. I surprised Phat Daddy by finding a wii fit a couple of days before Christmas.
He surprised me with a beautiful necklace, Rachael Ray Frying pans and a cookbook, and a bunch of Disney World stuff.
And - not to be outdone, my parents surprised my sister and I with something we had both always wanted. We each got a beautiful Kitchen Aid stand mixer. I have been baking and cooking up a storm. I LOVE that machine! So does Phat Daddy. We've been making all sorts of stuff and even competed over raisin bread.

But there's been more going on around here.

On Christmas Eve I really injured my finger. I'll spare you the pictures! But, really, I managed to get my finger stuck in the blender and there was blood everywhere. Somehow I managed to stay calm, and convince Doodle NOT to call 911 and instead called my parents to come and help out. It set us a little behind in all the stuff that I had planned for the day, but it really put stuff into perspective. It could have been far worse for me, or Doodle could have been helping me (which he often does). It's also made me really paranoid about appliances. What happened was that the blender was not on the base, and I was simply moving the base. But, my finger happened to be in the place where you rest the glass jar (the thing that spins that blade) and as I was moving I somehow pressed the ice crush button. The lesson in all of this is that I need to unplug equipment all the time. DUH.

The other excitement of the past few days is that our nanny has arrived in Canada. Her sister lives about 10 minutes away from us, so she is staying with her sister for the next couple of weeks to get used to the weather and the culture here before coming to live with us. On Boxing Day she arrived. We've now spoken on the phone (and I also got a phone call from Immigration Canada) and I'm feeling better about things. We still have a couple of weeks before she moves in and then a couple of weeks after that before I go to work.
I've been struggling with all sorts of emotions. I'm grateful to have a job to go to. And, I know I will be fine to go. But, I worry about my kids. And about me. I think knowing I'd be going back to work made me appreciate the time at home more than I would have had I been staying home. But, it also put me in the mindset that I have to appreciate the moments. And, now that I'm reaching the end of mat leave I feel like maybe I missed something or didn't appreciate it enough or SOMETHING.
It's a hard feeling to explain.
But, I'm grateful to be going somewhere I know. It's nice to know that some of the people who I consider to be close friends are the people who I will be working with when I go back, and who will totally get where I'm coming from when I'm having a hard time. But, that feeling of having to trust that things will work out. That's really hard for me!!!

Of course, our house is still in complete disarray thanks to redoing our basement. But, it's looking so good. I can finally see how our basement will look. We've chosen carpet which has seemed to be the biggest issue of all, and now we're just watching it all come together.

And that, in a nutshell, is what's going on around here.

Dreaming of a White Christmas

2008-12-21T20:33:00.004-05:00

She's not quite sure what to make of all the snow!

But it's definitely warmer inside than out!

Meanwhile Doodle and I made a gingerbread house and then some gingerbread cookies.

I kind of like being snowed in!

Teeth

2008-12-17T08:33:00.002-05:00

Image via WikipediaDoodle has a dentist appointment today.
It's been planned for months, but we don't have a choice about it.
Here's why. A few weeks ago at school they had a routine dental check at school. We got a letter home saying we could opt out if we returned the form, otherwise Doodle's teeth would be checked. I wasn't remotely concerned about this. He has been to the dentist. His teeth were fine in the summer. We brush regularly, and I do my parental duty of making sure all the teeth are brushed. I'm not saying I was cocky about the school check. I just didn't really think about it.
Until.
I got a letter from our health department saying that my child's teeth were in need of a check up. To say I was a little annoyed at the letter is an understatement. It was worded in such a way that it was implied I don't take care of my kid's teeth. And, it included check boxes to indicate the problems they found with my child's teeth.
Except they forgot to check the box.
So, given that I had received such a formal letter written in such an urgent way that I insisted I rush my child to a dentist I was a little nervous. Especially since they forgot to tell me what they'd see. (and they had told Doodle he had "twenty beautiful teeth" - wtf?)
I called my dentist's office. They said not to worry, to keep my regular appointment and call to let the health department know the date of the appointment in order to stop any further letters, and also to find out what box should have been checked off.
So, I did.
And, after dealing with several people and finally getting a phone call back a not-so-friendly woman let me know that they had seen tooth decay. And . AND. I HAD BETTER GO TO THE DENTIST SOON OR THEY WOULD BE IN TOUCH WITH CHILDREN'S AID.
What????
This has been bothering me a lot.
The more I think about it, the more it angers me.
I'm a good mom. Both of my children are up to date on their needles. My son has never missed school. I feed them organics, for goodness sakes. And, yet, because my son has tooth decay I could be reported to the Children's Aid? Seriously?
I hate that fact that because I let him have his teeth checked I could be on the radar of a child protective agency.
I know it's a small thing. I know that once I take him to the dentist today I'll get the form signed and sent back. In fact, I may even send it registered so I KNOW that it has gone back.
But really ...
Doesn't the health department have bigger things to worry about than the fact that my kid has tooth decay?

Christmas Memories

2008-12-16T22:18:00.004-05:00

This is what our Christmas memories are.

Spending time with Great Grandad (still going strong at 99, though I'm sure he'll outlive me) and then making sure we stay healthy with Doodle's first taste of street meat...

All before meeting up with my parents and my sister's family in an unplanned visit to the store windows at the Bay.

Have an O'Henry Christmas

2008-12-15T07:14:00.003-05:00

My grandad is 99 years old.
He lives in a one bedroom apartment and his days are very routine. He gets up, he goes for his walk, he visits Tim Hortons, he has dinner.
His apartment is very tidy.
So, when I come and visit him with 2 kids in tow, it's a bit harried. Now that the baby is cruising, pulls herself up on everything and doesn't sit still and Doodle has discovered that nothing brings her more joy than him making her laugh ... it's a little overwhelming for a 99 year old.
So, I was a little nervous for our visit.
But, on Saturday morning we decided to drive up. We went before lunch and brought presents, Doodle's book of school poems, some baking and ourselves.
It was one of the nicest visits ever.
My grandad hasn't bought me a gift in years. What he usually does is give us a cheque for dinner out. It's much appreciated. And, there's no way that he would be able to go and get gifts for his kids and grandkids.
But, this year he knew going to visit him was out of the way with the kids. And, when we got there and gave him his present his face lit up and he said "oh! I have something for you too."
For Phat Daddy and I - a box of chocolates.
For Doodle - a bag of chocolate Christmas balls
For Princess - a king-sized O Henry Bar. Seriously!
I have to admit, the O Henry bar was the hit of the morning. The princess only saw a giant yellow bar thing she could chew. Doodle knew I wouldn't let her eat it and was thrilled that she may pass it on to him.
Phat Daddy and I were amused because my uncle was sitting in the room, and I thought he was going to have a heart attack when he saw it (he has 5 kids ... I'm sure he knows that she's a little young for a chocolate bar).
And, bless his heart. My grandad said to me "I wasn't sure what babies eat, so I thought she could gnaw on that to stay quiet."
And, that is the best parenting advice EVER.
We opted to instead feed her the organic pureed baby food I had brought with me, and leave the chocolate bar until she has a few more teeth.

Back to the Naturopath

2008-12-10T21:12:00.003-05:00

Today we went for another naturopath visit. We haven't been for awhile, and we had to review some hair analysis results, review the different supplements that Doodle is on, and I also wanted to have her take a look at the baby.
It was a pretty cool visit. My mom came with us which made life a lot easier. With the Princess moving constantly and Doodle talking constantly it can be difficult to discuss stuff. So, my mom read Doodle stories and the baby played with the toys and life was good.
I realized about halfway through or visit, though, how much of a difference this visit was from when we first started visiting.
The first time we saw our beloved "Dr.Jane" I was almost in tears from my frsutrations. I had a child who ate far too much sugar, who was out of control and I was a little overwhelmed by all the different things she spoke about - supplements, smoothies, minerals, etc.
Fast forward a few months.
This visit was so positive. The hair analysis we did for Doodles showed that his system is pretty balanced out. Our conversations over what food to feed him are fascinating to me, and better yet, I can bounce ideas off of her. We were laughing over some of my healthy cooking attempts, and I was thrilled to tell her that Doodle never takes junk to school.
And, then after, my mom, the kids and I went for lunch.
It hit me in the middle of lunch that we had gone to the store (fancy lunch at the Super Store - Doodle's choice), chosen our lunch, found seats, and eaten pretty much the entire lunch and he was CALM. There was no frantic running around. I was not disciplining, bribing or stressing out.
I have to admit, all of the work over the past few months has been worth it.

We also had an appointment for the baby. She is a pretty healthy little girl, but she seems to sometimes have some digestive problems, and I really want her to eat healthy foods. Plus, I'm really struggling with the transition to formula. I'm not about to pump when I go back to work, and she really doesn't seem to do well with any formula other than the organic formula. But, I think she may have a bit of a milk intolerance.
So, we came up with some ideas for the transition, and I may even be making my own organic rice milk formula. Seriously! I'm strangely excited about that.

Ahhhhh ... The Family Bed

2008-12-05T20:49:00.002-05:00

The other day I had our princess sleeping in bed with me. Doodle woke up at some point and decided to join us.

I think that was the best few hours of sleep any of us has gotten in awhile (Phat Daddy, who was sleeping on the couch agreed!)
Doodle never gets up in the middle of the nights, but for some reason he did, and it was kind of nice. Especially when the cats decided to join us also.
My personal opinion on sleep is you do what you can. For us, Doodle went from crib to our bed to crib to big boy bed to race car bed to bunk bed.
But, I'll admit that every so often it's nice to have both of my kids snuggling with me. Time flies so quickly, I know these moments, the ones where you wake up and have 2 happy little ones curled up around you won't be here forever.

When You Turn Off the TV

2008-12-03T22:06:00.003-05:00

All day, between our various errands Doodle kept sitting down and playing with his lego. My job was to keep the Princess away from his Lego.
Well, he did put up a lego-sized danger sign, but she tried to eat it. Yum Yum.

By the time we picked up Phat Daddy at work he had created this jet. He was really proud of it.

I was too!

Things are Coming Together

2008-12-03T07:11:00.002-05:00

I'm so excited.
We've officially started re-doing our basement. We met with our contractor last night (recommended by the fabulous Kerry J) and agreed on the schedule.
I've started choosing carpeting.
And last night we cleared out our freezer and donated it to my dad's school.
I'm feeling good about all the changes going on.
Phat Daddy had planned on doing all the demo in the basement, but since our contractor had already tied that in the price, we get to skip that step instead focusing on emptying the rest of the basement and getting organized with what we have left down there.

In other news, Doodle continues to make us laugh constantly these days. My mom came over yesterday to bring him to school.

Doodle: Grandma, do you know what I like when I don't have food?
Grandma: Nope. What?
Doodle: SNOT!

Maybe you had to be there, but we were killing ourselves laughing.

Brought to you by the Letter Q

2008-12-02T07:13:00.002-05:00

Doodle has weekly homework.
It's not a big deal. Every week they learn a poem and the letter they are learning is in it. The homework is usually to circle the letter in the poem and then read the poem to a certain number of people. Then, the child usually has to read the poem to something special.
This week our letter was Q (for quiet), and they are learning about owls at school, so Doodle was supposed to read to a bird.
Then, when the homework is complete the parent is supposed to sign a sheet at the beginning of the book where there is a place for comments.
This is the highlight of my week.
Really. I've taken this homework thing very seriously. Really. Since we've been learning about birds and bats and owls I found a fun craft in order to attract the birds (pinecones dipped in peanut butter and bird seed).
When we were learning about squirrels we ended up at an apple farm on a squirrel hike.
Oh, and then there was the week we had to read to the moon, but since it was so dark we couldn't find the moon, so we got out our window paints and painted a moon on the window.
And, each week I've been documenting a bit about our homework.
I thought this was normal.
Now, Doodle's teacher is incredible. And, she sends me back notes. I truly thought this is what most parents do.
And then she told me that she rarely gets stories of homework. Usually just a signature or a note if there is a problem.
Yep. Rookie mom here.
She particularly enjoyed it when I enclosed a picture of Doodle reading his turkey poem to his grandparents and great-grandparents while wearing the turkey poem he read at school. Seriously. She wrote me a not about it.
I'm not about to give up the habit of writing stories to her. But, I've decided that I'm going to share our homework stories here on my blog. Because really, I love the homework of the week. I also love what we are all learning.

Holy Crap it's December 1

2008-12-01T07:27:00.002-05:00

Image by Randy Son Of Robert via FlickrReally.
December 1.
Where did the time go????
I love December and Christmas. And, I love that I have 2 kids to share it with. I love that this year Doodle is really into Christmas, and has a grasp of traditions and wants to do stuff.
So, I'm trying to do a Christmas thing every day.
Yesterday my mom and I brought the kids to a garden store full of Christmas Trees. Doodle was sooooo well behaved. We reminded him about 5000 times to look not touch, but he totally listened each time. And he walked with us and he was good. The baby was enthralled with the lights.
We've started hanging lights.
We've started decorating.
And yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent. And, that meant Christmas carols.
I love Christmas.
And I'm ready for shortbread. Yum.
But, this year we are also reminding Doodle of not only Santa, but the Christmas Story. I want both to be a big part of the tradition.
Phat Daddy also wants to create a Christmas Eve tradition. His idea? Something involving fondue. I love it.
I'm still a little stressed about gifts. I went shopping with my nieces on the weekend, and we had a blast. (okay - we had a blast, but I ended up buying them a bunch of stuff I shouldn't have - but really, matching sweaters for them and my princess????)
We haven't got any clue what we're doing about the tree. We have a couple of little (fake) ones up, but we haven't yet figured out our big tree. Doodle loves trees, the Princess will love to attack it and eat it. We are thinking a small tree. We just don't know. Add on an upcoming basement reno, and we don't know where we will put it since we'll have a lot of added stuff upstairs. Who knows.
And, I still have a bunch of stuff to organize and buy.
The sweet thing? I let Doodle paint his own ornaments for people he loves, and he thought it was so much fun.
And ... my Christmas cards are done.
So we're getting somewhere.
My real goal this year is to sit back and enjoy the Christmas spirit, to show my kids that spirit and for all of us to pass it on.

Will Wonders Never Cease?

2008-11-29T13:20:00.002-05:00

This morning we all slept-in until 8 am (Phat Daddy and the baby later). And, we all felt refreshed. The baby, who has been feverish and had had a virus all week woke up healthy and happy.
And, as if that wasn't enough, after cofee, Phat Daddy asked if I would like to go to the mall and Christmas shop.
Off we went to the mall. Our family of 4.
We spent 3 hours there, got everything that we were looking for .... on sale.
In 3 hours Phat Daddy and I didn't argue once
Doodle didn't have one temper tantrum (and we didn't buy him any toys).
Princess didn't even cry.
We even managed to stop at the Starbucks drive-thru on the way home. Pushing our luck maybe, but still no tears.

And now we're having a bit of a toss up around here. Phat Daddy is staying home alone with the baby, in hopes that she'll take a bottle from him.
Doodle is playing lego with his uncle, and I'm going Christmas shopping with my nieces.

I'm hoping it all works out!

Oh, and if anyone has any super weaning tips please send them my way. We've tried everything and the baby refuses a bottle. We're getting hard core around here because I need a break, and I need to know that she will take a bottle BEFORE we have the nanny start.

American

2008-11-27T17:44:00.002-05:00

I have a soft spot in my heart for American Thanksgiving.
My grandma grew up in Buffalo, and every year we would call her on her Thanksgiving and wish her a happy Thanksgiving.
So, when I turned on the tv and saw the Macy's parade preparations, I was excited. So, I told Doodle all about Great Grandma, and how this day was special to her.
I told him that Great Grandma was born in Buffalo. He looked at me with really wide eyes and said "Wow! My Great Grandma grew up in a Hotel and shopped at Target when she was 4???"
I could have told him about hardship and growing up back then. But, instead I just said "yep. her life was pretty exciting."

I'm sorry to not post more. I have about a zillion drafts saved, but really, there's not too much to say. My baby is teething again, I'm kind of dreading going back to work, and I'm stressing about Christmas. That makes for some fun posts.

Thank Goodness for Family

2008-11-17T07:39:00.003-05:00

This weekend was a long one. A good one, but a long one.
In just a few short days, Phat Daddy has replaced our old kitchen with a new one. He spent hours working on replacing our old crappy cabinets, squaring up new ones, fixing plumbing, and installing a counter-top.
I'm so proud of him. And, I'm so in love with my new kitchen.
Mostly I love our double sink!
We still have a ways to go. The flooring has to be laid, and we have to paint. But, I'm so excited.

In addition to the kitchen we did a couple of other things.
Yesterday both of our kids were Baptized. That deserves a post all of its own. But, it was a beautiful day, and I couldn't have been prouder of my kids, especially Doodle. He stood so quietly and listened beautifully, and was totally calm when they did the water thing.
After we had a small luncheon. Thank goodness that my parents live nearby because we all went to their home for lunch.

The other fun part of our weekend was clearing out our basement. Because we're planning to start a basement reno soon, we need to empty our basement out. Fun times. Wisely, I rented a storage locker - unwisely I should have gotten one MUCH larger! My brother in law came on Saturday and spent a good 4 hours slugging boxes and crap over to the storage locker. Once he had cleared out a ton of stuff I went in and was able to sort through a ton more stuff, get more organized and clean a fair bit.

And the kids? Well, that's where my big sister came in. She helped on Saturday, she helped on Sunday. The cousins had lots of playtime. We had lots of work time. And I think I exhausted my entire family in the process.

But now ... we're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, a nice kitchen, and an almost-empty basement. And as for next week? Hmmm ... I think some sleep is in order.

Renovation Fun

2008-11-13T21:16:00.003-05:00

We're doing some work on our house, or trying to. And, part of the process is hiring a contractor.
There are some very specific things we need done, so we've been interviewing (is this even the word) different contractors.
I actually thought this would be an easy process. Not so much! It's really hard. I've been making lots of phone calls. Some people I've ruled out over the phone. (Rule 1, if you call me "Sweetie" then I will keep looking)
Others have stopped by.
Tonight's guy was Phat Daddy's and my favourite.
He came over for a "free quote". We showed him the basement, he talked, and then he told us he couldn't give us a quote because he needed to do some work first - at $50 an hour. Oookay. Moving on.
He then proceeded to talk to us about his experience and his ideas for the job.
I was still back at the whole paying for a quote. But, whatever.
He seemed okay. Phat Daddy seemed interested. I asked the next logical question:
"Do you have references?"
His answer? Classic.
"Yes. But, it's not like I'm going to give you anyone's names or phone numbers or anything. And they all live in a different province."
Really, I wasn't quite sure what to make of that comment. The fun continued when he said he does plumbing and electrical, but if there are any problems we'd have to call in the experts, and "who knows what they charge?"
At that point we knew we would have to keep looking.
Who knows, maybe I've set my standard too high!

Bleh

2008-11-12T13:16:00.003-05:00

I know I'm not posting a lot.
I have a miserable teething child who just wants her mommy all the time.
And, when Daddy comes home and gives me a break. Or Grandma comes over to give me a break I pay more attention to Doodle, who is trying his very best to be a kind big brother. So, we read, or play or do stuff.
Which is wonderful.
Except it leaves very little time, and more importantly mental energy, to blog.
but this time, screaming baby and all,I'm apreciating it, because too soon I'll be back at work.

Remember my Tiny Baby?

2008-11-04T19:27:00.007-05:00

She's not so tiny!
And she's super-stubborn.

When she sees something she wants, she gets it!

Guess what we're doing this weekend? Yep. We're investing in MORE baby gates!!!

Words

2008-11-04T06:40:00.002-05:00

Image via WikipediaSometimes Doodle kills us with what he says. Because he's learning so much lately, some things don't exactly compute.
For instance, on the weekend we turned on some old cartoon station and the Pink Panther was on. Doodle was watching it, and really enjoyed it. A little later in the day he was humming the song and said to Phat Daddy and I, "I really liked that show you let me watch."
Absentmindedly I asked which show.
His response was "the cat show". So, I said "oh, you mean Tom and Jerry?"
Nope.
"No. Mommy. The Big Pamper. The Big Pamper made me laugh!"
Too funny.
The other thing that he's been doing lately is calling Phat Daddy "Father".
I have no idea why.
We asked him and he told us that it's because Phat Daddy is his father. True. But still.
He does it all the time. He talks about "father" not "daddy" and whenever he sees him says "Hi Father".
It cracks me up.
Phat Daddy does not find it funny. But, whatever.

And, in the not so funny words.
Yesterday I made Doodle his morning smoothie. He said he wanted to also have eggs and a cheese sandwich. Weird. But, I guess he was hungry. So I told him if he finished his smoothie he could have something else to eat.
So, as I was trying to calm down the Princess (who wanted to nurse) Doodle shouted for me. His question
"WHERE'S MY ORDER?"
What????
I calmly walked over to him and asked what he had just said. His response. "I ordered eggs and a cheese sandwich. HURRY UP WITH MY ORDER."
Nice.
I had no idea where he got that from. He was very quickly told that is not how we talk in this house. And, upon further questioning I learned that at the Krusty Krab (Spongebob) that is how they ask for their food.

Oh the joys of 4 year olds!

And it gets better ...

2008-11-02T15:38:00.002-05:00

You may have thought that November was enough fun just trying to wean my sweet baby girl.
It gets better.
Last night I went to sleep feeling crappy. I had itchy eyes and could feel a cold coming on.
I woke up with one eye stuck shut. Weird, eh?
I got up, washed it, and went to church. I still felt crappy, and we decided to stop at the drug store to pick up some visine. Confused by the choices, I asked the pharmacist. He looked at me and said "you have an eye infection." and sent me to the doctor.
And oh, the walk-in clinic.
What a fun place! After an hour and a half surrounded by much sicker people I got a prescription for my eye, ear and sinus infection.
So yes.
Life here is good.
The baby is not really subscribing to the theory that if she's hungry she'll eat. She has taken a total of 3 ounces from a bottle over the past 2 days. She's quite happy to wait it out by screaming, sleeping and being miserable.
We're a happy bunch over here.

Why November Sucks ...

2008-11-01T10:46:00.003-04:00

Let me tell you how our month is starting.

Take one little Princess (see the teeth) whose mommy decided that November 1st was the day we start weaning in earnest, and who is demonstrating that she has lungs that are just as capable of screaming as her brother's!

Add in a scary 4 year old who is, for all intents and purposes, hung over from a day of candy, indulgence, lots of fun and little sleep.

Throw in 2 adults who decided that the way to cap off Halloween was to have a yummy bottle of wine - and are now nursing headaches to go along with seasonal colds. And the requisite amount of Mommy Guilt for letting my child scream in Daddy's ear while he tries to convince her to accept formula.

And that, my friends, is how we're starting off our month!

The good news is that we live very close to the liquor store, and since we're weaning, a glass of wine may just be the remedy.

It's Halloween!!!!

2008-10-31T06:28:00.004-04:00

The house is quiet ... and it's Halloween morning.
I think it's fair to say I'm FAR more excited about Halloween than the rest of my family combined. But, really? I love love love Halloween.
Last night we had a little party with my nieces and today we have a fun trick or treating event in the morning and then Halloween at night.
I literally can't wait for my kids to get up and for the day to get going.
Yesterday, Doodle had "black and orange" day at school. Dumb. But whatever. And, I made all sorts of yummy stuff like bleeding eye balls and jello jigglers.
And today I've been up since 5 - mostly because I can't sleep. Partly because I needed to do my hair so I can transform into a princess.
I love today!!!

This and That

2008-10-27T07:58:00.005-04:00

I know it's been awhile since I last posted. It's not that there's nothing going on in life. A big part of it is that with Doodle we've been working hard, and seeing doctors about his behaviour. That's all I want to say about it. Not because there's something horribly wrong with him (most reports are that he's a great little boy who's very smart) but because I think this is HIS story.
As much as I've blogged about my kids, I need to figure out what part is mine to tell and which part belongs to my child. Do I talk about it? Of course, but to publish online - even if this blog is somewhat anonymous - seems unfair.
And, quite honestly all of that stuff is taking up a ton of time.
The good news? Last week. Our week of a million appointments, is OVER!
And this week is Halloween. I love Halloween.

So do my kids!
Isn't this a great picture of Doodle? (He's not allowed to wear that mask outside)
This is the baby's witch costume. I'm not revealing her other costume till Halloween! As for the hat ... she has mastered the art of pulling it off, so the costume is kind of a bust.

Even Phat Daddy got in on the halloween action! I love this season!

Schools

2008-10-18T22:58:00.002-04:00

I should start by saying that we're happy with Doodle's school. I love his teacher and the school environment is a good one.
But, I worry about Doodle.
So, of course I started looking at private schools.
It's such a facet of my personality that it drives me insane. I always feel like what I'm doing or what I've chosen isn't the best option that I over-research. But, sometimes that's good. And sometimes it isn't.
Whatever.
In this case it was. I had myself convinced that we had gone the completely wrong route school wise and that we should be doing private education. Really, it makes sense that I would feel this way. I attended private school growing up and have very fond memories of it. It felt like home to me.
And, honestly, I've been on private school tours over the years. But, it's one thing to look at private schools when you have a 2 year old and school seems like something a long ways away. It's a whole different ball game when you have your child in school and it suddenly matters what their behaviour policy is, how many kids are in a class and how closely the curriculum follows provincinal guidelines.
Phat Daddy didn't really want to go to the open house today. But, I think he was a little worried that if he didn't go I'd convince myself that we should be going this route and pull Doodle out of school without much consultation.
I sometimes roll that way. Though I try not to.
Sooooo ... off we went as a happy family.
I didn't bother switching my every day purse to a designer purse. I didn't care that Doodle wasn't colour coordinated.
What happened today surprised me.
As we walked through the school and we saw the lovely classrooms, listened to the presentations on their learning style and met with teachers something dawned on me. We're happy.
It's been a rough transition to jk some days. It breaks my heart when Doodles has a rough day. But, I love his teacher. I love that I'm getting to know other parents. I love that when we go on an evening walk we walk past his school and he is so proud of it.
Leaving the school today I felt like we've made a great school decision and that this place is the right place for our child. I know there will be challenges. But, I'm learning that sometimes it's not about life being perfect, it's about rising to the challenge and trusting your gut.

Oil, Lube, Filter and Lecture?

2008-10-15T13:56:00.002-04:00

Image via WikipediaI don't mind going to get the oil changed on our van.
I don't know a ton about car maintenance, but what I do know is that getting regular oil changes is extremely important. I also know that right now I'm home with the kids, Doodle thinks going to get the oil changed is fun, and I don't think it's necessary for Phat Daddy to always have that responsibility.
So, when the oil light flashed on the van we talked about how we should get the oil changed. We let that light blink for about a week and since this afternoon was a quiet one I thought it would be a fun thing to do.
Holy crap.
The guy changing the oil felt the need to lecture me.
Apparently it had been about 9,000 km since our last oil change. Apparently that is bad. And, apparently our oil was black. Big deal. Really. When he started waving the oil stick around to demonstrate my bad car maintaining I rolled up my windows. I think he took it a little personally.
He also took it personally when I declined the free newspaper.
And then when I wasn't sure how to make my lights flash I thought he was going to lose it. Seriously. I had a screaming child and a reallly talkative 4 year old and he was trying to teach me to use my van lights. (they are on automatic).
It was a fiasco.
And then ... then he started to bring things for me to inspect. He was pulling things out of my van hood to look at. I drew the line at the dusty air filter.
He didn't really like it when I said that I'm allergic to dust so I didn't need to see it.
I finally just asked him to stop taking my van apart, just change the oil and I was good.
I am not sure who was more annoyed!
Finally we finished. He kindly gave me a list of all the things I need done on my van.
The funniest part of all. At the end he gave me this really nice gift. It was a tire gauge thingy. And, he said "I'm sure you don't know how to use this, but if you ever want to learn just let me know."
oookay.

Seriously

2008-10-08T07:24:00.005-04:00

When I came home yesterday from a morning out someone was parked in my parking spot. No biggie, but I was really curious as to what work they may be doing in our complex. (we're in a townhouse complex). The man told me that they were doing some work on walkways.
I was pretty excited about this.
I enjoy a nice walkway.
And then I got to my house, and this was my walkway ...

It was kind of cool. I felt really bad that there was a giant Kubota thing at our house, and Doodle was at school.
Apparently they are coming back today to re-pave it, so we may get to see a cement mixer. How cool will that be?
Mind you. Even though my walk way is nothing to look at, I'm feeling very Martha Stewart with my little pumpkin and cabbage display outside of my house. Appreciate it - I did it all by myself and it's really quite crafty for me!

And, in other unrelated news ... Doodle's teacher is a miracle worker. My child, who started school a month ago and had no interest in letters is now letter obsessed.
He's constantly pointing out letters and asking what letter words start with. He's so excited about it. Before school I'd been worrying that he had zero interest in writing and one of my friends told me to relax and let his jk teacher do her job. I have no idea what she's saying or doing, but amazingly he is excited by reading. I'm thrilled!
But, seriously. I gave my son a seven letter first name and 2 middle names. Do you know how many letters that is?????
If we ever have another child (not in the books) The name is going to be simple. Three letters.

Brrrr

2008-10-03T09:24:00.003-04:00

There's nothing cuter than a baby bundled up for the cold.
Especially when it's my smiley princess!
I know - how do you resist the little Robeez booties? We needed them for the cold. And the pink vest? With bows? Thanks, Gymboree. And the little pink hat? Here's a secret. I have the same hat, but red, for Doodle. It's the only matching piece of clothing they have. Phat daddy rolled his eyes, but at least I didn't insist they get the same colour.
I tried to get Doodle to model his hat, but nooooo ....

And here she is, all ready for her walk to school. I know. I overdo the pink. But, you'll notice that I did get lilac Robeez, and I even dressed her in blue pants today!

\

So excited!

2008-10-01T06:49:00.002-04:00

It's no secret that Doodle can be a challenging child.

But, a little while ago someone recommended the most amazing book to me. It's called The Explosive Child. It's an incredible book, and it's a method of dealing with difficult children. There are two main themes in the book. The first is that children do well if they can. The second is that children are already motivated to behave, but some children (and teens) need help figuring out how to do that.

To quote the author:
“Instead of asking yourself, ‘What’s it going to take to motivate this kid to behave differently?’ ask ‘Why is this so hard for this child? What’s getting in his way? How can I help?’”

For me, reading this book was an eye opener. We've been struggling with behaviour issues for awhile, and so often I've said, time outs aren't teaching Doodle anything. It's not that I'm not discipling him, but it's that I can't figure out why he's misbehaving. Forgive me if you don't agree with me, but I find it hard to believe that my child who has been having a great day, giving me high fives, playing with his sister and helping me cook dinner wants to have a meltdown because I said it's bath time (something he enjoys).
Well, according to the authors of this book there are reasons for this, and ways to prevent meltdowns.
The more we use this method, the more we start to understand Doodle, the easier our days are getting.

After reading the book I really wanted to meet the author. I had, and still have, a lot of questions. There are specifics I want to sort out. I started to do some research. I found out about a convention he's speaking at. But, it would be $250 to get in, and it is not really designed for parents (especially nursing mothers with 6 month old who are discovering mobility!). But yesterday Doodle's kindergarten teacher sent home a flyer. One of the co-authors of this incredible book is speaking NEAR MY HOUSE! AND IT'S FREE! I don't think I could be any happier right now.

I'm bringing my entire family (if I can get a babysitter - I'm working on that). And, I intend to arrive early, stay late, and ask my questions. I want everyone in my family to understand exactly what it is I'm trying to accomplish in my house. Of course they are on board, but I am so excited that they will also get to hear exactly how you do this.

The good news? In school, his jk teacher really believes in this method. And, as I'm working on it at home, she's working on it at school. And yesterday he got no time-outs at school all day. I'm thrilled.

So, we take it one day at a time. Some days are better than others, but at the end of the day it's really nice to see some positive things happening in Doodle's life.

Harvest Festival/Price Gouging

2008-09-28T07:18:00.002-04:00

Image by scrumpyboy via FlickrYesterday the kids and I had an afternoon to ourselves since Phat Daddy was at a wedding.
I know we spend every day together, but despite that I find weekend days are always different than weekdays. We're not so scheduled and we tend to do different stuff than weekdays.
Doodle and I had talked about going to Ikea (to add to his train set) but we got talking about farms and he reminded me he wanted to go to an apple farm.
Sounded good to me.
We picked up a quick lunch and decided to drive to a local farm that we go to every so often. They have a big kids play area. I wasn't sure if they had apples, but it was a farm so we went.
I was shocked.
They had a "harvest festival" on, and they were now charging people to go into the play area.
It was ridiculous. All summer the area is free. But, for a limited time they added a puppet show and a second maze and were charging $8 admission per person over the age of 2.
This is in addition to the fact that they have a store to buy stuff at, extremely over-priced items to buy (like $32 pumpkins) and nowhere to pick your own anything.
I was a little miffed.
Of course Doodle was excited to be there. But, I explained the situation to him.
Simply put, I told him that it would cost us $16 to go in.
Even at the age of 4 he understood that was ridiculous. (or, in his words "dumb")
I mean, who upcharges that much for an attraction that is normally free?
I have no problem paying for a kids play area. But, if you want to make money, why not charge a nominal fee all year long (like $1 or $2 per kid) and deal with it?
I hate stuff like that.

So, we left.
And we found an apple farm. For the same amount of money we got a huge bag of apples and a huge jug of apple cider. Yum yum!
Instead of a kids play area they had apple trees that Doodle ran around in. And they had the sweetest dog who was happy to chase Doodle and play with him.
And, I think that Doodle got a sense what an apple farm is really about. I'm happy to support local farmers. In fact, I think it's a fantastic idea. Next weekend I'm going to take him to the apple farm we used to go to when I was growing up. I can't wait!!!

flying fries

2008-09-26T07:36:00.002-04:00

Last night we decided to go to Swiss Chalet.
I don't know what I was thinking. I had dinner stuff, but felt like going out. And so did Phat Daddy. Doodle only went on the lure of rootbeer. Seriously. we should have re-thought.
Anyway, so we got to Swiss Chalet and Doodle had a huge meltdown. Like complete and utter temper tantrum that we know it's easier to wait out than reason with. We eventually calmed him down (thanks to my beloved book "The Explosive Child") and found our table.
But, it was one of those dinners where you're on the brink. Doodle was off. The baby is teething so she was feeling off, and Phat Daddy and I were trying to keep both kids calm.
Of course, sitting at the table next to us was a friend and her mom who I hadn't seen in years. I looked like crap, the baby was covered in teething cookie and Doodle was bouncing off the ceiling.
Fun.
Our waitress found the whole situation kind of funny. I mean it was, because Doodle has quite the sense of humour and he knew he was charming her. And, every time he'd talk the baby would try to baby talk over him. It was kind of funny.
But, the funniest part of the night?
That was when a new couple came and sat in the booth behind us.
I'm not sure what came over Doodle. But for some reason he stood up (yes, stood up) on his seat, picked up a fry and yelled (yelled) "FLYING FRIES" and threw a fry over Phat Daddy's head directly on to the plate of the gentleman who had just sat down.
Bratty? Yes.
Bad? Yes.
Unexpected? Completely. He has never done that.
Phat Daddy almost lost it he was so angry (and there were consquences) but it struck me as hilarious. And, I was trying so hard to be the good parent but I couldn't stop giggling. Neither could the waitress. Or the recipient of the fry.
It was just one of those ridiculous moments where you can't predict it.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but impulsivity is one of the major problems we have with Doodle.
Of course Doodle knew I was cracking up and thought it would be hilarious to try it again. So, I calmly explained to him that no, sometimes something is funny once, but when you repeat it you just make people angry. He actually does understand that because we have a lot of moments that really, we don't want him to repeat.
We left the restaurant shortly thereafter.
Tonight we're having dinner in!

And ...
On a completely different topic, one of my favourite bloggers, Multi-Tasking Mommy is having a contest! So, go enter! And enter quickly - she's having a baby any day now :)

Ah Choo! I love Pesto

2008-09-24T10:44:00.004-04:00

This summer I've been on a basil kick. I love basil. And, I love pesto.
For some reason store bought pesto gives me heart burn, so I decided to try experimenting with the homemade kind.
I'm pretty sure what's making me sick is the parmesan cheese in the store kind. So I make it cheese free and it's super yummy and lower in fat. Well, except that I sprinkle cheese on my pasta, so not so much. But whatever!
Anyway, I decided to try my hand at growing basil. I've got 2 huge pots of basil and I use it all the time. It grows profusely. And, is way cheaper than buying fresh basil at the store.
But, I've noticed that my leaves are turning yellow.

So, I brought the whole plant into the kitchen. And decided to take all the basil leaves off an make a giant thing of pesto.
One problem.
I could not stop sneezing. Seriously.
I'd pick a leaf and sneeze. Pick a leaf. Sneeze.
when the baby woke up from her nap I brought her to the kitchen. She was sneezing non-stop also. That's one powerful plant to have in your house!

And, want to know why we're not getting too much sleep around here?
Check out these teeth ...
There are those 2 you can see, but there are a couple more coming. Poor thing.
And, I know this is really late, but we've started the transition to her crib. Yep. At 6 months she's still right next to our bed in the bassinet.
In all honesty, because we had such a hard time with sleep and Doodle, we're a little afraid to mess with a sleeping baby. But, she's rolling and kind of crawling now, and I'm pretty sure if she tried she could climb right out of her bassinet.
So far so good. But, I miss her when she's in her own room!

The Bad Guy

2008-09-20T20:03:00.004-04:00

Image via WikipediaI know that parenting required you to be the "bad guy".
And, I've been doing a lot of reading on parenting lately, thanks to Doodle. (and this is good). One of the things I'm trying to do is figure out my reasons for saying yes and no to things. Like the other day he asked for gum and I said no, thought about it, and changed my mind.
I don't mind that.
But yesterday I went to the video store and picked up a couple of videos for us to watch with Doodle. The first was "Bee Movie" which was really good and we all enjoyed.
The second was one of the Superman movies.
Doodle is in a big superhero phase - as most 4 year old boys are. And, it's tough as a parent because some of the coolest superhero things being advertised are not for 4 year olds. For instance, Iron Man & The Incredible Hulk. We've found a middle ground and agreed that he can have stuff like t-shirts with the logos on them but he can't see the movies. He's been okay with this.
So, when I went to the video store yesterday on my own it was because I wanted to take the time to choose a movie that was age appropriate. And I found one! One of the Superman cartoons. I was pretty excited that we could watch it together. But, when we took it out of the case it was a different video. It was still Superman, but it was for older kids.
We decided to turn it on since we'd built it up with Doodle. We'd done make-your-own pizzas and it was a big deal to him.
But, for the first time ever, I turned a movie off while we were watching it as a family.
In the first 5 minutes Superman was in bed with his girlfriend, and Wonderwoman was attacked by some guy. And, it was a pretty brutal attack.
Another 5 minutes in Superman was a dad and he had to leave his son. When Doodle said "Daddy, I'd be sad if you ever left me" - I knew it was time to turn it off.
Surprisingly Phat Daddy was more annoyed at me than Doodle.
He felt it was okay because we were watching as a family. I didn't agree. I know we could have discussed it after the fact, but there were so many different themes to discuss I am not sure where we would have started.
But, Phat Daddy and I don't see eye-to-eye on movies all the time. Last night we rented The Bank Job (for us) and it was far too gory for me so I had to walk away. He said it wasn't that bad. Even our tv habits are very different. We pretty much only agree on House and the Amazing Race.
I wasn't surprised when I got the eye roll and huff when I decided to turn it off.
So tonight I was the bad guy. The bad guy supported, but not understood, by her husband.
I'm curious where other people draw the line.
As for me, maybe I'm a bit over-protective. And sometimes I try a little too hard to hold on to Doodle. But, at the end of the day he's only a kid once. And, I'll leave the super scary movies for when he's old enough to decide for himself what is too scary.

Doodle

2008-09-16T16:12:00.002-04:00

Today was Doodle's first full day of school. Graduated entry is over and now he's there full days Tues/Thurs and alternate Fridays (which is pretty much once a month).
Today didn't go so well. He got several time outs for hitting and biting. When I picked him up he was sad. He just wanted lots of hugs. It broke my heart.
We've worked with him a lot. We've tried changing his diet so he eats well. We've made sure there's consistency in his sleep routines. We've used time outs. We've been trying to channel his energy at karate classes. I've been doing a lot of reading.
I'm totally frustrated.
I wish there was some way to figure it out, some magic explanation so he stops this behaviour, some method that we knew would work.
As a mom it's so deflating. It's not that I'm embarrassed. I'm not. He's my kid and I love him immensly. But, I'm worried for him. I don't want to let him down. I'm so scared that this behaviour, this thing that we can't figure out and that I'm not fixing is going to cause him problems down the road.
I'm worried that if he's mean at the age of 4, he'll start getting picked on as he gets older.
And, I'm terrified because in a few months I won't be picking him up at school everyday and making sure he's okay. I want to protect him, and I'm scared that I'm not.
And, I don't really know what to do.
For now I'm at a loss. I know I have to be patient. I need to let him settle into school and into the routine and to get to know his teacher. But, I don't want to wait too long and let him down. I want everyone to see the wonderful, smart, kind child I see.

At Issue

2008-09-15T11:33:00.003-04:00

I don't use my blog to talk about issues.
Generally speaking I don't bring up politics or religion. I guess it would make my blog more interesting, but I don't really want to open myself on those right now. I have opinions of tons of stuff in the news, and if you knew me in person you'd get an earful if you asked.
But, the one thing I'm passionate about is our rights. As a Canadian I value many of our rights, like the right to free speech, freedom of religion, etc etc.
I also value my right as a woman, and a nursing mother, to breastfeed in public.
Since my first child was born 4 and a half years ago and my baby was born 6 months ago, I've been one of the fortunate women who never questionned her right to feed my children wherever and whenever I chose.
Yes, there are times where I'm not about to nurse my kids. At church, at weddings, on the subway - those are all places that I'm not particularly comfortable. But, I know I can ... if I so choose.
And, yes, there have been times I've been made to feel uncomfortable. A couple times I've gotten a rude comment. I have gotten the odd dirty look. But, most of the time I enjoy the comfort of nursing wherever I want.
So, when I read the story of someone who was made to feel uncomfortable when she was nursing her baby it made me upset.
For what it's worth, I'm adding my voice to others who have said enough is enough. Nursing isn't sexual. When I'm feeding my baby I'm doing what I believe, and what many doctors will tell you, is the best thing you can do to help my baby grow up healthy. I am feeding her. If you have a problem with breasts - tough. Whether I'm at home, in the park, at the mall, in a restaurant or on a plane it's my right and my choice.
So please, if you see someone nursing respect her rights. And, if you're offended look the other way.

Forms, Forms, Forms

2008-09-12T08:05:00.004-04:00

Image via Wikipedia Yesterday was Doodle's second day of jk.
It was a half day and half the class was there. It would seem I missed the memo stating that this is the day you bring your kleenex and your camera. I was saving the drama for his first FULL day of school which is Tuesday. But, as I learned yesterday was the first real day in the minds of many parents. Oops!
So, needless to say I was totally fine and totally happy and quite comfortable sending Doodle off for a couple of hours of school.
When I picked him up he was really excited about his 2 hours. And he told me that he had a bunch of stuff in his bag.
Nope. My 4 year old didn't have homework ... I did!
He came home with a Zipoc bag filled with forms to fill out and cheques to write.
Gone are the days of the pizza lunch. Instead hot lunch at his school comes with multiple choices of gourmet foods. Choices. Does he want chicken nuggets or caesar salad or a burrito? How would I know? And, call me crazy but since when do school lunches cost $7???? It isn't a big deal for us because they do these lunches once per week and they alternate Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday - so he ended up only ordering about 4 lunches on days he is there.
Then there was the Scholastic order. I'm still baffled by which catalogue to order from and what books he needs. I've put that aside for the day.
And also there was the whole milk thing. What days does he want milk and does he want chocolate or white milk?
I haven't done so much math homework since I was in school - and it's only day one!
The other thing I did, which made me feel very mom-like indeed was I pulled out my giant family organizer calendar and wrote down all the info they gave me. We now have the entire school year documented on a calendar for all to see. I'm hoping it gets us organized and ready to start the year.
I never realized just how much work was involved in being a parent of a school child. But, in some weird way I feel like I'm actually on top of all of this school stuff. At least for the first day.

Oh, and as for the ridiculously huge lunch I packed for Doodle? It was just that. A little ridiclous. He ate very little, but that's okay. I am pretty sure that I have at least an idea of what he'll like. And, I'm sure that as we continue in school mode it will get easier and easier.

Lunch Time!

2008-09-11T10:23:00.005-04:00

So, today marks Doodle's first day at school where I drop him off and he eats lunch there.
It's a half day, but at his school they have 2 lunch times called nutrition breaks. One is around 10:30 and the other is around 1:30. so they advise parents to pack 2 lunches.
wow.
As if one isn't enough work.
Today is the first time I'm packing a lunch.
There are some guidelines. Obviously the lunch has to be peanut and tree nut free. No biggie - I like that rule. My confusion here is whether it can be a snack made in a facilty that processes nut products or if it just can't contain the nuts. And, what about home-made stuff? We have peanut butter in our house. So, can I make him non-nut muffins knowing my house has peanuts? Don't get me wrong - I'm totally okay with that (especially since there is a severe nut allergy in his class). But, I'm just unclear.
The next is that there's no junk allowed in their lunches. As in no sugary snacks. But, what does this allow and not allow? I'm trying to not give Doodle tons of junk and sugar anyway, but what about a (peanut/nut-free) granola bar? Or bear paws? Help!!!!
So back to today.
We have the Super Friends Lunch Bag.
And since Doodle will be there in the afternoon I need to pack for the afternoon nutrition break. I have no idea if this is more the lunch side of things or the snack side of things. So, true to form I overpacked.
For the lunchy part I sent in cheese and meat in cubes (he loves this) with crackers. And of course a pickle since he loves pickles.

Then I added some fruit.
And some yogurt.
And a fruit snack.
And a bear paw.
And some raisins.
And a drink.
I had a lot more stuff to put in there, but I have no more room.
I actually had to pile stuff.
So, what's a mom to do?
I'm planning to already give him a pretty fulsome lunch in a few minutes.
I'm thinking maybe I need to go and get a second lunch bag and number them - lunch one and two.
Or maybe I need to pack less.
Phat Daddy just kind of rolled his eyes. Because much like anything else, as a rookie I feel the need to overdo it just a bit.
But, I can't help but worry that I may not give him enough. Or he may be hungry.
Truthfully, this is probably his normal days' worth of food. I remember in highschool getting through the day (8:15-3) on an apple and a nutrigrain bar. And I had about 90 pounds on him! So, I'm guessing he will survive.
Is there any wonder that my mom and sister have both called me today to make sure I'm okay?
Now, I have to admit I have a friend who is kind of an expert mommy in all things school so I think I may just call her and see just what she puts in her son's lunch ... (kerry, I'm talking about you!)
I'm not about cheating on all this mommy stuff :)

One Day

2008-09-10T12:30:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was quite a day!
We had Doodle's first visit at his school. It was interesting to say the least. He alternated between charming and explosive. It was interesting and tiring and I know for sure that he will not fall between the cracks and be the child whose name no one knows!
Then we got home.
Within about half an hour of getting home Princess was sick. Like projectile vomiting sick.
So, between my emotionally exhausted 4 year old, my sick baby and my new foudn goal of keeping the tv off all day, we spent the afternoon in a rather hellish state of playing cars, cleaning puke, doing laundry and Doodle telling me how gross puke is.
Nice.
Of course yesterday would be the day he has karate and I was determined we would go.
Mind you, about 10 minutes before we had to leave for karate my doctor's office called me back since I'd left a message about the Princess' illness. And our phone call lasted forever. (we had to go through all the signs of dehydration)
So, when I got off the phone I told Doodle we had to boot it to karate. And somewhere between explaining the definition of "boot it" and him washing his hands I managed to scrape his toe in the door.
No problem. I figured that I would throw my wounded, sobbing 4 year old in the stroller (a rare treat) and we'd make it to karate just in time.
But NO. I'd left the stroller in the van.
So instead I had to teach him the definition of the phrase "suck it up" (is that appropriate for a 4 year old) and have him walk to karate. Part of me felt that I should let him skip it, but we're committed and it's been tough lately, and I didn't think I could give in. After all, he was fine.
Ironically, this was the best class he has had in weeks. No screaming and crying. Nothing. Just a quick class where he did pretty well.
By the evening I was exhausted. And, thanks to the stress I was losing my voice.
Ahhh.
I could not have been happier when bed time came (after 90210, of course).
Mind you, just as I hopped into bed and curled up to feed Princess she puked all over me and this started a very long night - thank goodness Phat Daddy stepped up and helped a lot.
And now. I'm tired!
And this is what parenting is all about.

Gymnastics

2008-09-08T16:01:00.002-04:00

Today I had one of those moments where I was so proud of Doodle I almost cried.
Lately things have been a little tough in his world. His karate classes have been trying. He had a rough time at vacation Bible school. And with junior kindergarten starting (tomorrow!) I've been a bundle of nerves.
I want the best for Doodle, and I worry about him.
So, it was with a lot of trepidation that I brought him to gymnastics today.
Yes, we have high hopes for this gym. The time works for him and he was pretty excited, but still. As confident as I was, I was nervous.
We got there early and we went through our expectations. We reminded him of the rules and that he had to listen. And then off he went.
There were about 12 kids there ages 3-5, and it was split into 2 groups, basically 3 year olds and 4 & 5 year olds. For some reason the class consisted of all girls. I think for some kids the all girls thing would be a problem, but Doodle tends to respond to the activity level in the room. Without other boys it was a calmer place.
And the class went really really well.
I was so happy.
Doodle was so happy.
He's been talking about gymnastics for awhile, and he's been asking to take it, so I think that played into it. And also, it was a class that was full of activity. He was bouncing and swinging and jogging the entire time. The only part he had a hard time with was the time when he had to sit on a mat and wait for the teacher to come around. But, when they came around they were teaching the kids handstands and cartwheels, so it made the waiting manageable.
And, at the end of the class they had this neat zip line thing that the kids got to ride on.
Doodle left feeling excited and happy and proud of himself for doing so well. And tomorrow he's going to kindergarten (for a shortened day) knowing that he can handle it.
I knew he had it in him!

Long Weekend ...

2008-09-02T07:34:00.002-04:00

I love surprises.
To me there is nothing more wonderful than a surprise. I love the shock and excitement. And I love the spontaneity (at least ont he part of the receiver). It's a blast.
So, since we've all been a little cranky in our house, Phat Daddy has had a busy week at work, Doodle has had a tough time in some of his programs (karate and vacation Bible camp) and I'm just plain worn out I decided to book a hotel in Buffalo and surprise the family with a mini vacation.
Surprise them I did!
I somehow managed to pack a bag and hide it in the van for a couple of days, speak to the hotel and get their 5 confirmation e-mails without letting Phat Daddy see them (we don't really read each other's e-mails, but I often leave mine open).
Saturday was Phat Daddy's grandparents 60th anniversary. So, we went there for dinner and then when we left I surprised him with a bottle of wine and some cards. Doodle was thrilled (he knew there was a surprise coming) because we were going to a "hometel!" with a "pool!" and it was in "Buffalo with toy stores!" All was good.
And it went pretty well.
Except ... it wasn't all that relaxing.
The first night Doodle was way too excited to sleep. He was up till midnight. The baby too. And, since we didn't have the right room I didn't sleep well at all.
No problem. I was in great spirits the next morning. I went to breakfast (in the lobby) with the kids while Phat Daddy got some extra sleep. Then I took Doodle swimming.
My next surprise for the boys was a trip to the Aquarium.
Did you know there is an aquarium in Buffalo/Niagara Falls? Well there is.
Phat Daddy loves aquariums.
The thing is, Doodle and I were ready to do a quick visit. Phat Daddy wanted to read every sign. The baby was mesmerized by the fish and the lights and the colours. So, all in all it was a nice but super-quick visit. I think Doodle and I spent more time in the gift shop than in the rest of the aquarium, but at least it gave Phat Daddy more time to look around. And, don't get me started on the ridiculousness of the fact that on the upper-level it is so dangerous and kids could easily fall from the 2nd level into the sea lion tank. I was having a nervous breakdown on that level.
We finally left, and then went to look at the falls (from a distance) because again I have a huge fear of bringing Doodle to Niagara Falls.
Anyway, we spent the afternoon having lunch and then relaxing at the hotel. By the end of the day I was feeling crappy. We were all cranky from the late night, and the pizza we ordered took more than an hour to arrive.
But, we did watch a lot of the Disney Channel and Phat Daddy and I were killing ourselves laughing while we watched "The Wizards of Waverly Place." Doodle couldn't figure out why we thought it was so funny, but he decided to laugh with us.
The thing was, as it was getting closer to bedtime I was feeling crappier and crappier. And then since we'd promised Doodle ice cream I pulled it out super late (like 9pm) which was just dumb because I should have known it would make him insanely hyper. Oops!
Anyway, by the next morning I was fully sick. My ear was hurting and I couldn't swallow. So, we went to breakfast as a family. One of the highlights of this hotel is that they have a really nice continental breakfast. And they have a waffle iron. Doodle really wanted to make a waffle which was fine. I told him not to touch. I reminded him not to touch. But, in his excitement he flung his hand and touched the burning hot waffle iron.
OMG! Did the child ever scream.
He burned his finger. Ouch. So, I rushed him over to get his finger in some ice water and he eventually calmed down once it helped him. Once he was calmer I went to get him some breakfast while Phat Daddy was sitting with him. As I'm calmly getting his food the lady who had come over to make sure he was okay was talking in the buffet area.
Her comment? "I hate it when parents don't supervise their children."
What??????
There are many areas I fall short as a parent. Supervision is not one. Doodle is the kind of child who needs constant supervision. It was an accident. He wasn't flipping the waffle himself. He was excited.
Normally I'd walk away but instead I said something. I mean, sure comment on bad parenting but don't do it in front of customers. Especially if said customer is the parent you are gossiping about.
Anyway, we finally checked out, went to Target and then drove home, all a little tired, and all ready to be home.
I'm not sure if it was the best weekend ever. But, the idea was nice, the family was surprised, and I think despite the bad points it was a pretty fun time.
----------
On a side note... I'm reading a book called "The Explosive Child". It was recommended to me to help Doodle. He's been struggling and I want to sort things out.
It's a pretty amazing book and has some great ideas.
I can't wait to get this into motion.

Step one is dealing with some issues we've been having at karate. Tonight is our test run. Wish me luck.

Change of Plans

2008-08-27T11:14:00.003-04:00

Today's post was going to be about my frustrations as a parent.
It was going to be about how, by the end of the day I was exhausted. It's been a long few days with Doodle. Some of our concerns about him have been magnified, and lately terms like ADD and Sensory Processing Disorders have been thrown around. And, though of course we're looking into it, dealing with it, being the parent of "that child", not knowing what the next steps should be - it's hard. And, there have been lots of tears. And lots of hearing Doodle tell us that his "heart doesn't want to be bad but sometimes I just am" that makes me think life is unfair.
And yesterday did me in. Because between him having problems at vacation Bible school followed by a bad karate class I was as upset as he was.
But then. But then there was last night.
We had movie night as a family. And then it was bedtime.
And, while Doodle was trying to get to sleep I was trying to console our princess whose teeth are breaking through. Nothing was helping. We'd tried Motrin and nursing and rocking and everything. And she cried. A lot.
So Doodle got out of bed. And he came and he comforted her. Within a minute she was fine. She was smiling and reaching for him. And he held her hand and he sat with her and he sang to her until she had calmed down. And what made her happy was just lying with him while he patiently held her hand and calmed her down.
And then I realized that what he needs is exactly that.
He doesn't need parents who are angry at the system. He doesn't need a mom whose heart breaks and who cries when it's been a tough day. He need someone to hold his hand and tell him it's okay and figure out a way to make things better.
So we're starting over. We're making doctors appointments. We're giving him healthy food. We're working together and we're going to figure out what makes Doodle tick (for the good and the bad).
But, I have to tell you. I'm getting really scared about junior kindergarten. I've heard good things about his teacher. I'm just hoping everything works out.

A Little Chub and a Few Tears

2008-08-21T09:01:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was the baby's well-baby visit and more needles. She's almost 5 months, and I think these are the shots they do at 4 months. But, since she had an ear infection and then we had to wait a bit we're a little behind. No biggie.
Of course part of this visit is the usual height and weight check.
I'm not big on percentiles, but I do find them interesting - especially for comparison. Yesterday the baby was 15.5 lbs and 60 cm. According to my doctor that means she is in the 75th percentile for weight and the 25th percentile for height.
A little crazy! She's sooo my child. At this point in Doodle's life he was in the 90th percentile for height and weight.
He's now 80th percentile for height and 50th for weight. So who knows. And, while we were there yesterday Doodle got weighed. He's gained 5 lbs this summer! He's getting so big. He also grew 2 shoe sizes. He's going to be the biggest kid in jk!
But, back to the baby.
We've seen a couple of milestones this past week. The first is that her tiny bottom tooth is breaking through. She's been off a lot lately, and I didn't know why. That would be why. It too me by surprise because Doodle broke his first tooth on his first birthday. (I know - late). So even though I thought she was teething I thought I was crazy. She also figured out how to roll over and put her body into crawling position. It's pretty amazing.
I know babies all roll over and figure out crawling. It hardly makes her a genius. But, watching it all over again reminds me how amazing it is to watch a baby develop. I sometimes think I was so sleep deprived and "off" with Doodle that I didn't really appreciate all of his milestones. With the baby it's a huge deal. And I'm loving it.
But, the other thing I'm doing with the baby is letting her cry just a bit when I put her down for naps. Here's another comparison thing. (I don't generally compare my kids, but today I am). Doodle never had a regular nap time. I tried. It didn't happen. With my princess I've noticed that she wants to sleep around 9 am and again at around 1 or 2. So, I'm trying the whole method where I feed her and then when she's clearly tired but not quite asleep I bring her to her crib and lay her down. She usually cries a bit. I rub her tummy, make sure she's calming down and then I leave. AND SHE FALLS ASLEEP!
I know. Amazing!
Doodle and I then use that time for us to play with toys or read or even watch tv together. It's taken us 5 months, but I think, my friends, I've established a routine!

I can hear

2008-08-14T13:13:00.002-04:00

My maternal grandfather is almost completely deaf. (he's 99)
Before my maternal grandmother passed away she used a hearing aid and could hardly hear.
I've never really worried about my hearing, but it's always been at the back of my mind. The idea of losing one of your senses is scary, and watching my grandmother's frustration as she gradually lost her hearing was depressing. My grandad is also frustrated, but he has had hearing issues my whole life so I haven't really watched the progression.
So for me, the past couple of months have been a little stressful. Shortly after the baby was born I noticed I was asking people to repeat stuff a lot. It wasn't like I was deaf, I was just beginning to not hear quite as well.
I often drive past the store "Listen Up, Canada!" and wondered if I should go in for a hearing test. Seriously. I kind of debated asking my doctor about my hearing, but I didn't want to.
But, this past week my ear started to hurt and my ears got really stuffy. And, since my sinuses were also hurting I went in to see my doctor. I expected a prescription and I would be on my way. I did get a couple of prescriptions, but she also asked me to put some special oil in my ears and come back in 3 days to get them cleaned and checked.
I went back today and had a procedure done that I've never had before. I had my ears washed out. It was the strangest thing. Basically they rinse your ears out with warm water. You use oil for the days preceeding to loosen the oil and then the wash part literally washes out the wax.
So, the nurse was rinsing away and I didn't notice any difference. She kept saying she could see the wax but it was just not coming out.
Suddenly - WOOSH - it was out. (sorry I know this is gross).
But really, it was incredible. She took out this GIANT chunk of wax. It was the grossest thing I've seen. And it came from me! ewwww. But wow! When that came out I could hear. I could hear better than I have in a very long time. I was shocked. I must have said thank you about 10 times. I got to the van and I had to turn the radio down because I could hear! I came home later and we turned on the tv. Again, I could hear!
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Life can be so exciting.

Too Much Olympics?

2008-08-13T14:40:00.002-04:00

I'll confess, I'm glued to the Olympics. I tape it all and watch everything I enjoy. Thank goodness for the DVR!
My favourite event is gymnastics. I love it! I stay up till all hours watching it. The drama. The excitement. So exciting to me.
Doodle took gymnastics when he was 2. He did it every Saturday for about half a year. We struggled through it because he was in a really difficult stage and it was a parent/tot class. He had constant temper tantrums and I got annoyed. I finally quit early because it wasn't teaching him anything (though he perfected his sommersault) and I was spending my Saturday mornings angry at him instead of enjoying his company. It just wasn't working.
But, over the last year he has reminded me on numerous occassions that he liked gymnastics. (Weird - I don't remember it that way.) And he's bugged me for more classes.
The thing is, I didn't feel comfortable at the gym we were going to. it was a long drive and all the parents seemed to think they had the next gymnastics superstar on their hands. In all honesty I have weight issues and my husband is 6'3. I don't really think either of our kids have gymnastics in their blood so I was there for FUN. And also because Doodle falls a lot and I wanted him to learn to fall properly and to do things safely.
It just didn't work out.
But after watching countless hours of Olympics these days I decided to sign him up at a different gym. I'd heard great things about it so I called and went to see it. It was love at first sight. First of all the guy running it is Romanian (I think). He was so funny. He sounded just like Bella Karoli and he kept yelling out all sorts of gymnastics terms to his students while he was talking to me. It just cracked me up.
And his wife was totally sweet and funny. Doodle meanwhile was running around and all excited to see the gym, so the guy took him on a tour (including a bathroom break) and Doodle was sold. I love it.
So, the way it stands now Doodle will have 2 days a week of karate and 1 day a week of gymnastics. I'm not sure if that's too much activity, but I am thinking it's worth trying and seeing how he does. Part of me isn't sure how it will all work out, but the other part of me thinks that karate and gymnastics will be a great combo and will keep him challenged and athletic. We'll see.
Of course the baby (the Princess as she is referred to in our home) joined us for the visit to the gym. They were ready to sign her up too, until I pointed out that she can't yet sit up on her own. But, they did mention classes start at 18 months - start them young.

My Ladies Man

2008-08-07T22:05:00.002-04:00

Today I took Doodle to McDonald's for a special treat.
He's been asking for weeks to go, so I figured we'd go for lunch. It was the perfect day because there weren't tons of kids, and the kids who were there all played really well in the Play Place. It was one of those times where all the parents are kind of supervising and kind of chatting because everyone is just behaving.
After a long game of hide and seek Doodle started playing with a couple of little girls who were close to his age. I was watching for awhile trying to figure out what game they were playing that was so engrossing.
At one point Doodle came running out of one of the tube slides with the girls trailing behind him.
He turned to them and said "Come on Ladies! Let's have a dance party. I wanna ROCK OUT!"
Thanks, Hannah Montanna!
It may scare you to know that after McDonald's we went to WalMart to buy a back pack. I had a hard time convincing him that no, he could NOT buy a Tinkerbell back pack or a Hannah Montana backpack.

We're Going to DISNEYWORLD!!!!!!

2008-08-06T09:23:00.002-04:00

I know I know. We just got back. Just.
But, all I can think about is Disney World. The sights. The sounds. The smells. The yummy food. The entertainment that tires my child out. I loved it. All of it. And all I have been thinking about it going back.
So, I called a travel agent (who specializes in Disney Travel) and booked next year's trip. I know it all seems a little early. But I love planning and dreaming. And I need something to look forward to. When we were there in July we visited one of the resorts. It's the Polynesian and it's right on the monorail. We decided that we would stay there. However, since the cost to stay there is literally thousands more than we could budget for, we elected to stay at a different resort - Wilderness Lodge.
The more I look at pictures the more excited I get. I've already promised Phat Daddy that I will not go crazy and spend every minute at Disney World, but that I will enjoy the resort as well. Quite honestly I think that will be do-able. Imagine. 24/7 Disney for a whole week. Actually, I think that's some people's worst nightmare. But for me - awesome!!!!
I've already started planning all the details like having lunch with the princesses, doing a bunch of pirate stuff. The possibilities are endless. I'm so excited!

Weaning

2008-07-31T08:45:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking a bit about weaning the baby.
She's 4 months old, and I'm going back to work when she's 10 months. In that time I would like to slowly wean her to a bottle and nurse only at night. The reason for this? I know it will be hard enough to go back and I don't want to spend my last few weeks at home dealing with the emotional turmoil of weaning.
And she seems to have a stubborn streak.
The girl seems to hate formula.
Doodle hit the same point. Except with him I kept nursing until he was old enough to eat and to drink milk. But, I still nursed a lot. And by the end I didn't enjoy it.
With this baby I'm loving it. It's easy and it's bonding and it hasn't been a struggle. So maybe I'm pushing it a bit. Or maybe not. Who knows. I'm not really stressed about it so much as I am thinking about it.
Yesterday I made a bottle and was attempting to give it to her. She was not having any of it, and Doodle was watching and trying to help. I turned to him and asked what would make the bottle more appealing to her.
His response?
"Just give her some chocolate milk, Mommy. And if she doesn't like that I can finish it for her."
Excellent advice.
Except as much as I would love to take it, I have visions of my daughter rejecting that bottle and my 4 year old son newly addicted to a bottle.
Fun times!
I think we'll just keep persisting with the bottle. I've still got lots of times, and if all else fails, chocolate milk it is.
Just kidding!

A Look in the Mirror

2008-07-23T07:41:00.002-04:00

Despite taking a week off of Weight Watchers (both the meetings and the plan) I went back to my meeting on Monday night.
I didn't want to go because I ate like a pig on vacation. Every time I looked in the mirror I could see the extra 5 pounds I had surely gained and I hated myself. But I went, and I got weighed, and learned I had lost half a pound. As weight loss goes that's not the biggest amount in the world, but I was surprised. And happy.
And then our leader spoke about Body Image. I realized on Monday that I had forgotten my whole reason for being there, for eating healthier, exercising and taking vitamins. I wanted to be proud of myself, to like myself, to walk past a mirror and hold my head high because I like who I am. I want to be a woman who is proud of her body, flaws and all, so that my children to obsess about theirs.
For awhile there I lost that.
I'm not sure what happened. On the quest to hit a certain weight by our Disney trip I started to focus more on the numbers and less on myself. And that has to stop.
With the whole body image thing combined with coming down from the high of being on a super fun vacation I was beginning to fall apart. Summer, and trying to fill the long days, started to stress me out. I had nothing to plan for or look forward to. So I started to think about what I can do to make things better. The one thing that has always worked for me is running.
I know I'm not a marathon runner. But, for some reason, even the benefits of a short run perk me up. I think the fact that I completely zone out and focus only on the music I'm listening to and pushing myself to make it a little further seem to clear my mind.
Let me tell you, it was not easy last night. I hadn't run for ages and my breathing was all off. I came back tired and today I'm stiff and achy. But, I feel GREAT! I feel like I accomplished something. And I feel happier and better about myself today. And, I'm going to take a nice hot bath and then go out for a run tonight. As I was running I kept thinking that if I keep this up I could sign up for a 5k. And suddenly there was something new to look forward to, to push me on and give me a goal.
Who knows if I'll do it. But, I want to. I want to like myself, and be proud of myself. And today I'm feeling that way.

Our Heroes

2008-07-21T07:58:00.004-04:00

We've been back from Disney for a couple of days now. We've done some laundry and some unpacking, but the truth is that we're still all a little tired, and not quite willing to concede that our trip is over and it's back to reality.
Okay. Maybe Phat Daddy is, but Doodle keeps talking about monorails, the baby keeps cuddling her baby Cinderella and I've been online looking at package deals for another Disney trip. Yes. We loved it that much. Yes, it was totally do-able with a baby.
I've got lots of stories of the magic of the experience, but sometimes pictures say it better.

My Princess with Cinderella.

To Infinity and Beyond

Doodle's Hero - Buzz Lightyear

We're Back!

2008-07-19T15:23:00.002-04:00

We're tired and sunburned and want to go back.
But it was wonderful!
And I've lost my voice! (see picture above - this was me on every ride!)

I'm going to Disney World!

2008-07-10T08:41:00.003-04:00

I'll be back in a week... try not to miss me too much :)

(and, yes, there are people watching my house and the cats.)

Bragging Rights

2008-07-08T06:58:00.002-04:00

Last night I had my weekly Weight Watchers Meeting.
Since it was our anniversary I just went to weight myself and then Phat Daddy and I went for dinner. But, I have committed to doing this, and following the plan so I went for the weigh -in.
I was nervous because the prior 2 weeks I lost a total of .2 lbs! Not so much.
This week? I lost 1.8 lbs.
Though I'm not about to reveal numbers (partly because I think everyone looks different at every number) I will say this ... I'm now officialy lighter than I have been since I got pregnant with Doodle.
I'm thrilled.
It's not easy doing this. But, it's so worth it. I'm feeling better about myself. I'm enjoying what I'm eating. And I feel like I'm making some progress. Most imortantly, I don't feel like I'm sinking into that pit of stress and despair and therefore weight gain that I fell into with Doodle. To me that's the important thing.
Yep. I plan to go on vacation and enjoy food and not stress if I gain a pound or 2. But, I fully intend to journal everything I eat, stay on Plan as best I can, and get righ back into it when I get back.
When I get back I'm going to jump back into running and put some more emphasis on trying to get rid of my gross tummy. But for now, I'm enjoying my progress and giving myself a pat on the back!

Seven Years

2008-07-07T06:34:00.005-04:00

Today marks 7 years for Phat Daddy and I.
It's hard to describe the past 7 years. We've grown up a lot in 7 years. The years have been filled with 2 incredible children, 6 different residences, 3 different pets (not including the fish), 3 cars, and many many ups and downs.
But, when I look where we are now I realize I am more in love now than I ever thought I could be.
Life hasn't been perfect. We've argued a lot. We've learned to put up with each other's quirks and to accept each other's imperfection. But, we've also discovered some pretty great things about each other that we never knew 7 years ago.
So, happy anniversary to the man I love. the one who knows how I take my coffee (and knows to just hand it to me and not bother talking to me till it kicks in), who stays up till all hours finishing the craft projects I start, but can't complete, who makes sure that our computer, tv, and every other electronic device works properly and who makes the world's best mac and cheese, apple pie and scrambled eggs.
I love you!

Counting Down and Caught in the Act

2008-07-05T09:04:00.002-04:00

We're getting soooo close to our Disney Trip!

It's less than a week away, and we're almost ready to go. I've been making lists and shopping for everything. And as each day goes by I get more and more excited.

All the kids are excited too - it's so cute to hear them discuss the airplane ride which they are far more excited about than Disney World at this point. So so cute.

So in order to add to the excitement I asked Phat Daddy to download Disney music for the car. I figure if we listen to it all week and the whole time we are in Florida the children will be fully entrenched in the Magical World of Disney! I love it.

So, after much hemming and hawing, Phat Daddy finally went online and found TONS of Disney music for me.

I should explain at this point that every day I insist on getting in some sort of workout. I try to have a 30-minute brisk walk once a day and if I haven't gotten around to it by about 8 or so I put the baby in the Bjorn and walk in place watching tv. But, with the Disney music playing and Phat Daddy being a little grumpy about the Disney Music and more grumpy about me singing along to the Disney music (while dancing with the Baby in the bjorn) he decided to go outside for some fresh air while I enjoyed my music.

And enjoy it I did. With Phat Daddy out of the room and a baby enjoying me raucous singing and dancing I went a little crazy. I had some unique dance moves happening and I was singing along to the Siamese cat song from Lady and the Tramp, arguably not the best song in my repetoire.

What I did not know is that my parents, who live 5 minutes away from us, had driven up to our house to stop by and show us something. And, rather than ringing the doorbell had bumped into my husband who quietly let my mother in. So there I was hips swinging, singing at the top of my lungs, and when I did a (not-so-graceful) spin I turned around and my mom was killing herself laughing.

It was a site.

Keep in mind I was wearing green lulus, a white tank top and bjorn. It was hilarious.

So yes, the countdown is on. Our bags are almost packed and we're all pretty excited. I just have a few last minute things to organize (I need someone to check our cats one day, need to get earphones, a couple little things like that) And then we're ready.

The question is ... is Disney ready for us?

The nice thing about being a parent with small kids, is that you can look as crazy as you want there, and sing and dance along to everything, and everyone just assumes you're doing it all for your kids. NICE!

Question: I'm going to the Cinderella lunch with my niece, mom and sister & the baby. My niece is dressing up. Would you? My niece (6) said she doesn't care either way, but I want to get into the spirit

New Neighbours, New Hair, New Discipline WOW!

2008-07-03T21:21:00.002-04:00

It's been a busy day. A very busy one.
first we had to say goodbye to our neighbours. It wasn't terribly sad, but we liked them and they were good neighbours. So, it was still kind of weird to say bye. But, the good news is that we have new neighbours! With a baby! And they seem nice and normal!
They've been slowly moving stuff in since about 5:30 (quietly) in preparation for their move on Saturday. Doodle has been watching all the action from his bedroom window. And though he's a little excited about new neighbours he's a little miffed that they have a baby and not a 4 year-old. I'm sure he will adjust.
The other excitement in my day was that I got my hair done. I know I usually go to my beloved Bill, but I don't like to go there for colour. I'm sure it would lovely, but it would also cost me a ton of money. And it's a long way away. And it takes a long time to do colour. I like to just relax and read magazines and I'd be so stressed that I was at Bill's. So I found somewhere closer to home. Not only was it not a bad price.
But ... I love it!
And I have bangs! Okay. A fringe. But it's a change. And I love it. And most importantly she showed me how to do the front myself and style it so that if I let it dry mostly on its on it will look nice wavy not scrunched wavy.
Of course, the final topic of the night is Mr. Doodle himself. He's a handful. And lately timeouts just don't work. Today I put him in time-out and he laughed at me. I was furious. So what did I do? I took the closest toy I could see, a spongebob backpack, and threw it in the garbage. Actually, I put him in a clear garbage bag adn told Doodle that if he didn't behave out it went. I have to admit that I'm a little surprised by how shocked and upset he was.
I felt kind of bad. Especially when Spongebob was staring out at me from a clear plastic bag. It was pathetic. So, now he's in the process of earning back a toy and keeping his other toys out of the garbage.
I didn't come up with the idea alone. My sister did this once with my niece and she still tells me about it. So, I think I may have something here. As long as I follow through. And who wants to throw out toys. But, whatever works. It's a lot easier than a garage sale :)
Oh ... and one final thing. I'm afraid to jinx it, but the baby is sleeping through the night some nights and other nights only wakes up once. Life is good.

Baby Borrowers

2008-07-03T07:17:00.002-04:00

Last night Phat Daddy and I turned the tv on for a little bit of mindless tv.
The show Baby Borrowers was on. I was curious, and Phat Daddy didn't care. At first I was interested, but as the show went on I got more and more annoyed. The premise is that a few sets of teen couples get to live in a house and see what it's like to have a baby. All of these couples (I think there were 4 couples) expressed interest in having children young. So, this was a trial run.
It's not that I don't agree with the idea.
In fact, my high school had those dolls that cry at night and you have to take care of. It's a great idea. You get an idea about parenthood without actually being parents.
But ... WHO LENDS OUT THEIR BABY???
Okay, so I know you leave your child with teenage babysitters. I'm a working mom and I leave my child - and will leave both kids - with a caregiver. But, I would never ever lend my baby out to a couple of teenagers who think they are ready for a baby.
Now, granted the parents are allowed to watch their baby on the tv. But still.
It would kill me.
Two of the couples were HORRIBLE. One of the couples kept swaring at and in front of the baby and calling it a brat. Another couple were arguing about who had to get up to take care of the screaming baby. All the while the parents were observing this over the tv.
Seriously. I was angry.
The worst, in my opinion, were the parents who left their teething child. The poor kid was miserable. Yes, he gave the teenagers a run for their money. But it was awful. They were annoyed and angry and frustrated.
When Doodle was teething he wanted me more than ever. Sure I was ready to scream most of the time, and I handed him off to my husband and parents and sister a lot. I did not hand him over to teenagers to see if they were ready for a baby. Really.
And then in the middle of the show the moms of the teenage girls were allowed to visit. Serioulsy. what about the mommies of the babies. It made me feel terrible. The whole time I kept turning to Phat Daddy saying "who would let their kid go?"
I just do not understand. Sure, I watched. But it was more like watching a car wreck. I really don't believe that watching this show will prevent teenage pregnancies. You know why? Because as one teen put it - their child would be different.
Stupid stupid show.
Some parents just really piss me off. If you want to do a reality show, fine, but don't involve you innocent little baby. At the end of the day I just wanted to hug my baby and my preschooler more.

A Little Hi-YA! (or Kee-iiii)

2008-06-26T18:52:00.002-04:00

Doodle has been doing karate for about 2 months now. I've been diligently bringing him twice a week, dropping him off (for my lovely 45 minute break) and then picking him up, making sure he behaved himself and moving on.
And as the weeks have progressed I have seen him do various moves, use words I've never heard (like kee-eye and a few others) and basically get involved in something that is pretty foreign to me. It's not like dance where although you don't know the intricacies, but you get the general concept, you've seen some ballets, and have most likely taken a few classes. It's a whole new discipline to me. So, when one of the other moms from the class asked me if I'd be interested in trying it out myself I decided to give it a try.
It was unbelievably hard. The warm-up (WARM-UP!) was brutal. I was huffing and puffing through a lot of it. People were doing the splits. I was amazed.
And then the class started. My friend and I split off from the group and worked with a different teacher because we were new. She took us through some blocks. And it was not easy. But I liked it. In a weird way it reminded me of yoga - the fluidity and the working at your own pace, etc. It was also a completely unusual dynamic having people who had never done it in the class with black belts.
And I liked the people. Like really really liked them. It wasn't like a fitness class where no one really cares if you come back or not. It was more like a social setting where everyone wants to encourage you and tell you that you're great. Everyone was smiling.
I didn't want to leave.
And what's not to love about workout clothes being baggy and lo0se-fitting so that when you see yourself in the mirror you're not looking at your physical flaws you're looking at your moves.
But, I'm still on the fence about joining. Here's why. There's a huge commitment involved. You are trying for different belts and going to classes. I keep thinking that I'll get into it and then have to go back to work. Since the classes are at 6:15 on 2 weeknights (one of which I'm already busy on) I'm not sure how I would do it. But, that's months away - and maybe something like this would be good for me.
So I'm going to think about it a little more and maybe go back and sign up. We'll see.

Still Here

2008-06-25T09:32:00.002-04:00

I realized yesterday that I rarely blog anymore. By rarely I mean about one time per week. It's not that there's nothing to say - it's just that with the beautiful weather, an active four year old and a baby who is getting busier by the day, I rarely have time to sit and compose my thoughts.
But, I did something brilliant. I put Doodle in a once-per-week home daycare program (which he loves) and I have a quiet 3 hours with the baby.
It's wonderful.
Doodle and I both need the break.
But, things here are going well. I'm happy. I'm relaxed. Phat Daddy and I rarely fight. I think we're finally settling into a routine. I feel like this year is a break for me. I'm feeling like I'm getting to know both of my children. And I'm enjoying being with them.
Sometimes I long to go back to work. And, knowing I will go back is calming.
Other days I have this heart-wrenching guilt that I'll be leaving my children during the days. That I'm not so good about dealing with. But, I know we'll get through it. I know we'll handle it. And deep down I'm aware that this time I'm spending with my kids is a break - it's a not a full-time forever job so we're still on a bit of a high from it.
I also know that if I need to take time to be with my daughter, like I've had this time with Doodle, I will not hesitate to request a leave of absence from work and take the time. I think about that sometimes. And I know, deep down, that there are answers and I have to let myself accept the choices I'm making.
Am I going back to work? Absolutely. But, I also know that it's okay. Breathe in breathe out. Move on.
See ... relaxed.
The other thing that is taking up my time ... Planning for our trip to Disney World. To say I'm excited is an understatement. I'm so looking forward to getting away and going to the Happiest Place on Earth. I think I'm probably more excited than all the kids combined (we're going with my parents and my sister's family). I can't wait for Doodle to see it. He has no clue. I also can't wait for the Cinderella breakfast with my niece and my little princess.
And, we're still continuing on this healthy path. We're now introducing foods back into Doodle's diet. I'm thinking he may have some sort of allergy to tomatoes and oranges. It's the acid thing. It's still all a theory. Once we do the food testing here we will get the hair analysis done.
Long story.
But, for now my princess is awake and we have laundry to sort.

Meeting Goals

2008-06-17T07:17:00.002-04:00

Last night was my 4th Weight Watchers Meeting which means I've been doing this for a month. And guess what? I lost 2 more pounds which means I've lost a little more than 5 lbs. But more than that? I'd set a specific weight goal that I wanted to hit for our trip to Disney World. And I hit it last night ... 3 weeks ahead of schedule!
I'm thrilled.
Of course I set myself a new goal. And of course I have another 20 + lbs to lose before I hit my goal weight. But, I'm seeing the changes and I'm seeing the difference and I'm pretty happy about that.
Here's the funny thing. For the last month we've also been following a version of the elimination diet: no dairy, no refined sugars and flours, limited wheat and eggs. It has been difficult, but we've been plugging away at it. One of the ways we've done this is by baking a lot. The cookies in our house are low sugar and different wheats. And we've been eating TONS of fresh fruit and veggies.
So, yesterday evening I bought myself a cookie from Starbucks. I love them. And I was surprised when I just didn't enjoy it quite so much. It just tasted a little fake - and not quite so satisfying. Maybe there's something to this clean living.
This week we're also seeing our naturopath to review the results of what we've been doing. I believe that we'll be introducing some foods back into Doodle's diet (eggs, please eggs!). Should be a fun week.
And as for today ... we're having a strawberry and cereal picnic before playing at the playground and then going grocery shopping. It will be either really funny or BRUTAL. Only time will tell.

Osteopath

2008-06-10T10:58:00.003-04:00

Continuing on the path to being holistically healthy (is that even a logical phrase?) I took Doodle to a pediatric osteopath yesterday.
The definition of osteopthy is that it is an approach to healthcare that emphasizes the role of the musculoskeletal system in health and disease. In most countries osteopathy is a form of complementary medicine, emphasizing a holistic approach and the skilled use of a range of manual and physical treatment interventions in the prevention and treatment of disease.
The way I saw it was that it seemed a little like the combination of chiropractic and massage.
We went there because according to my naturopath this would help with Doodle's problem with hyperactivity. The initial consultation was pretty amazing to me. By just looking at Doodle (and not yet getting the full details) she was able to describe his sleep problems as a baby, his current sleep problems (will happily stay in his room but takes a long time to fall asleep, wakes up early and changes positions a lot in the night) all by looking at his body.
Fascinating.
When she worked on him she had him lie on the table. It looked like a massage table but smaller and lower. The manipulation takes about a half an hour. She did a lot of rubbing of his head and shoulders. The purpose was that she said that he is very tight on one side and loose on the other so he is out of whack. Thinking back, all sorts of issues he has had are all on one side. He has ear infections in one ear which is also very waxy most of the time. She said this is a drainage issue.
She explained to me the link between hyperactivity and temper tantrums and osteopathy. I'll admit she sort of lost me at one point because my understanding of biology is really lacking. But it made sense at the time.
Anyway ...
While she massaged away she rolled in a tv set and Doodle watched a movie while she did what she had to do. Brilliant. He stayed calm and relaxed the entire time.
The one thing she said to expect was he may sleep a little more. So far she is right. He napped in the car after and then he slept in until 9:15 today. He NEVER does that. I was shocked. And I like it.
When we combine that treatment with the lack of sugar and nitrates in his diet, I think we'll be seeing a big change in our child. I'll admit I already am. He's calmer and happier. He's still a 4 year old boy and we are still doing time outs and need to discipline him. But, it's different. For instance when he got a time out today, instead of kicking and screaming before he got there, he walked right over to the time out stair. He cried and screamed when he was there. But when I went to talk to him about the issue he calmed right down and listened and actually understood what I was trying to tell him.
This is all I hoped for. The roles Phat Daddy and I have as parents are to teach Doodle right from wrong, and to help him succeed in life (there's much more, I know). And, I feel like these changes we've made for Doodle's health are helping us to accomplish this. There's much less screaming on our part and much more teaching. We can do things with Doodle we would not have done even a month ago.
All of this is hard. But right now it is so so so worth it.

Sunday Night Dinner

2008-06-08T19:52:00.004-04:00

I sware this isn't a cooking blog.
But, so much of my life these days is trying to make our lives healthier that a lot of my mental energy is spent on planning out healthy meals. But, I want to not only make meals that are healthy, I want them to taste good so that we all enjoy them.
On Saturday we went to a wedding which was wonderful. And I was inspired by the yummy appetizer salad they served. It had strawberries and almonds and mandarin oranges. So, I ran with that. And, then I thought we should try bbqing shrimp because shrimp is really low calorie and I love bbq shrimp.
And, since there's nothing I love more that sharing my creative efforts with people we invited my parents over to try out our dinner.
The result was pretty successful. It was delicious.
Doodle has been helping me in all of my culinary efforts. Today we made banana muffins (delish!) and he was right in the putting all the ingredients in.
At dinner he was washing all of the veggies and setting the table. He even helped me make the salad dressing. And the more that he helps the more excited he is to try out the various foods that we make.
We didn't give him any of the shrimp. I'm not sure if he would have liked it, but we just introduced him to veggie dogs, and he was really excited to have veggie dogs with his healthy salad.
Tomorrow I'm taking him to an osteopath. Our naturopath recommended it to us to help with the hyper-acitivity (though the lack of nitrates and refined sugar has made a huge difference.). I'm really excited to see how this all works out and if it actually makes a difference for him.

Phat Daddy and I have been talking about how I'm embracing all of this. I realize that I've gone completely overboard on this healthy bandwagon. As far as bandwagons go, it's a pretty good one to be on. But in all honesty I think a huge part of it is that I really struggle with staying at home. I see some of the super moms out there and don't feel terribly successful. But, I think this has given me something to run with and succeed at. And so far so good.

This week, though, I need to make sure to journal his food and mood. I've been really neglecting that.

My Day Thus Far

2008-06-05T12:44:00.003-04:00

It's not even 1pm.
How did I start my day? By my tooth chipping while eating oatmeal. Ouch! I LOATHE the dentist and could not bring myself to go to my pre-pregnancy dentist. So I called Doodle's dentist (why yes, a children's specialist who has someone on staff who works on calming fears) who happened to have a cancellation and who were willing to take me on as a patient.
Then my mom came for coffee and Doodle had a complete meltdown. A meltdown that not even Spongebob could fix.
Then we walked to the mall to buy formula (since my mom and Mike will be watching the baby while I go for a marathon dental appointment) and they did not have the kind I wanted. Nor did they have the small size so we could see if she likes it.
Why didn't I pump then?? Ha. I tried. But today my pump broke. Not that it was doing anything. Apparently I only lactate for my child. I tried pumping 3 times before it stopped working. NOT A DROP.
Then the guy came to clean our couch, chair and rug.
The chair and rug are clean.
The couch is "too far gone" and he offered to charge me $150 to attempt the couch, but didn't think it would do me any good.
I give up.
I'm hoping for the best this afternoon!

A Tale of Two Cakes

2008-06-04T22:01:00.005-04:00

We're still eliminating away in our house, but tonight we had company. I wanted to make a dessert, but I decided that I would make the same cake (a really yummy strawberry cake) 2 ways - one using all the usual ingredients, another dairy, egg and wheat free.
I had a wonderful helper, Doodle, who was incredibly excited about the baking challenge.
I realize the cakes look a little different. The truth is that I only had one pie plate, and to add to the imperfection Doodle wanted to place strawberries on the top. So, I went with it and didn't particularly care that one wasn't as pretty as the other.
In the end I was pleasantly surprised by how the healthy version turned out. I'm putting the recipe below with the stuff I changed.
Yummy!
But while I was in my soon-to-be-renovated kitchen taking pictures I had to take a picture of our cereal collection.
I was laughing today when I filled our pantry because all of our stuff is organic or healthy or both.
The Count Chocula and Cocoa Puffs, etc have been replaced by homemade granola and various bran cereals.
You'll note all the bags of coffee. I am most certainly not cutting coffee out of my life!

Strawberry Cake - with replacements

6 tbsp unsalted butter, softened (replaced butter with shortening)
1 ½ c flour (replaced with 3/4 cup rice flour and 3/4 cup spelt flour)
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 cup plus 2 tbsp sugar (replaced with organic raw can sugar and cut down to 3/4 cup)
1 large egg (egg replacer)
½ c milk (replaced with soy/rice milk)
1 tsp vanilla
1 pound strawberries, hulled & halved

Preheat oven to 350*. Butter a 10-inch pie plate.
Sift flour, baking powder and salt together in a medium bowl.

Put butter and 1 cup sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with paddle attachment. Mix on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy (about 3 minutes). Reduce speed to medium-low. Mix in egg, milk and vanilla.

Reduce speed to low; gradually mix in flour mixture.
Transfer batter to buttered pie plate.
Arrange strawberries on top of batter, cut sides down and as close together as possible.
Sprinkle remaining 2 tbsp sugar over berries.

Bake cake 10 minutes @ 350*.
Reduce oven temperature to 325*. Bake cake until it is golden brown and firm to touch (about 1 hour)

Let cake cool in pie plate on a wire rack.
Cut into wedges
Can be stored at room temperature, loosely covered up t 2 days.

The Elimination Begins

2008-06-02T07:38:00.004-04:00

After a visit last week with our amazing naturopath (more on that later) and a week of slowly getting rid of the junk in our diets, we're starting a full out elimination diet in our house this week.
I know it sounds brutal, but we're attempting to cut out wheat, dairy, eggs, tomatoes & additives out of our diets, specifically Doodle's diet.
It actually sounds harder than it is. Because I'm on mat leave and home with the kids all day I have a lot of control over what Doodle eats. I also have the time to prepare the foods that are kind of replacement foods. And, since it's summer there is a lot more yummy fruit and veggies in the store (and my child could survive on fruit, I think).
We did a bit of a test run last week. Both Phat Daddy and I were a little surprised by the results. Doodle has been happier and calmer. We've had meltdowns and temper tantrums, but generally Doodle is able to snap out of them pretty quickly.
We have been supplementing his diet with a special shake that is full of vitamins and minerals (and he loves it) so we know that he is getting the nutrition he needs.
The goal of this week (and the next 2 weeks) is to see what kind of a change eliminating all of that stuff will make in Doodle's life. I keep a food/mood diary which will be examined by our naturopath and once we have some ideas on what foods he may have an allergy to then we are doing testing.
Tonight is also my first weight watchers weigh in. Lucky me!

More on the Healthy Life

2008-05-27T09:05:00.002-04:00

So ...
While we prepare Doodle for the whole elimination diet and prepare ourselves for the healthy lifestyle, I did something I was kind of dreading.
I went back to Weight Watchers. Ugh.
If you have known me for awhile (online or in person) you'll know that I struggle with my weight, and for me, pretty much the only thing that consistently helps me lose/maintain my weight is the wonderful program that is Weight Watchers.
I've done the online version and the in-person version. Yes. I count points. And I journal what I eat. I don't enjoy it, but at the end of the day, for me it works and I lose weight. So, I decided to go back.
But for the first time in my life I went with a friend! Both of us have done the program. Both of us know what we're getting into. And both of us kind of dreaded the first weigh-in. Going together made it so much better. Okay. So, we didn't exactly stay for the meeting. It had been too long since we'd seen each other, and we already know all there is to know about the program. So, we decided to have a yummy (read: not WW approved) dinner before we embark on this weight loss journey.
To be completely honest, my weight when I stepped on the scale wasn't all that horrible. It's about 10 lbs higher than where the doctor would like me - but considering I'm nursing I can accept I'm a few pounds over her suggested weight. But, it's about 20 over where I'd be happy and 30 over my skinniest. So I have a ways to go.
We're going away in July and my goal is 5lbs though I'd be thrilled by 10.
I'm actually looking forward to this journey, because sometimes a journey is a little easier with a friend by your side.

Holistic

2008-05-26T16:28:00.004-04:00

I've been hesitant to blog about what's been going on with us health wise, but now that we've been going through this for a bit, I figure it's a little more okay.
Ever since the baby was little she has been struggling with gas. Long story short, but after visits to the doctor and eventually the hospital I was frustrated by no answers and went to a naturopath who suggested eliminating dairy from her diet. The visit for the baby was short.
The long part of that visit was a conversation about Doodle.
This doctor was very concerned about his behaviour. She thought it was very erratic and basically blamed it on sugar and his diet in general. Her bedside manner was horrible and I left pissed off that she had blamed me for his hyperactivity, but part of the problem is that she was right. For quite awhile now I have been concerned about his behaviour.
ADHD has been whispered to us. Hyperactivity has also been mentioned.
But, what I had noticed is that he's not constantly hyper. And as a parent it's incredibly frustrating that one day he can listen and behave and follow directions with no problem, and then you catch him at the wrong moment and he can't. I know part of this is being a little kid, but it's not that. For instance today I was at my sister's place. Her almost 3 year old was having a rough afternoon. She was having temper tantrums, and just not listening. But, my sister could pinpoint it to a lack of sleep and needing a nap.
With Doodle it's not like this. Sure he has his moments where we know he needs sleep. But, the hyperactivity is not that. It's like he physically can't stop himself.
Recently he started karate. He loves it. I love it. His teacher is an amazing woman who is a former kindergarten teacher. She works magic in her karate classes - and gets a room full of 3-5 year olds doing various things in tandem, quietly. I have a lot of respect for her.
After the last class she asked to speak with me.
She was concerned about his hyperactvity also. But, she explained it to me.
Basically she said that once he enters the school system he will be recommended to be on Ritalin because of his hyperactivity. She has noticed that sometimes he seems to have uncontrollable energy, and said that from her experience with children she doesn't seem this as a behaviour/parenting issue, but rather as a chemical one that may be triggered by something. At one point in the class she was helping him with something and he said his brain hurts. She asked him why and he said "it's the food my mom gives me." (oh the mommy guilt from that comment, but that's a whole other issue!)
She suggested that we do allergy testing and see a naturopath.
Interestingly enough I'd been doing a lot of research since the initial naturopath visit. My mom and I had just attended a lecture given by a naturopath who is about 20 minutes away from my house. And I liked her. And spoke to her after.
So, we're going to go and see her and see what she suggests for Doodle. Actually, I have been e-mailing back and forth with her along with reading as much as I can about the link between diet and behaviour. It's scary what's in our food - and it's scary what I've been okay with.
It looks like we're in for an "elimination diet". Seriously. Want to know what it's about? Here's what she said in an e-mail
"If you are up for an elimination diet, you may want to try avoiding the following foods: any food additives or preservatives (colours, preservatives, nitrates in hot dogs or cold meats), dairy, cane sugar, and wheat. Definitely prepare for this one, find substitutes that Doodle enjoys and get a good cook book ( I like The Whole Foods Allergy Cookbook by Cybele Pascal) before embarking on the elimination period, which should be 3 weeks. You should notice a shift in his behaviour if he is sensitive to any of these foods or additives."
I know it sounds crazy, but I think we're doing it. It may kill me. But, if it doesn't I'm sure I'll be a stronger person for it. And, I'm doing it right along with Doodle. And if I'm doing it, the Baby's doing it. And by some stretch so is Phat Daddy.
I think June is going to be a Long month!
If anyone has done this before I'd love to hear your input.

Roxy Sinus RULES!

2008-05-22T15:01:00.003-04:00

Who is Roxy Sinus? Miley Cyrus. Hannah Montana. You know. Her
I have to admit that if a year ago you had asked me what I would be doing every day, I would never have guessed I would be drivign around in a mini van rocking out to Miley Cyrus. Not in a million years.
But here I am, a newly minted 30 year old, with 2 car-seated children driving a mini-van, windows rolled down and Hannah Montana music blasting from the windows. It's a little sad, a little strange and pretty much my life.
For some reason Doodle thinks her name is Roxy Sinus, and is completely in love with her. To the point he wants me to buy her poster! We already own the CD.
I realized the craziness of our family's Miley Madness when I was stopped at the Starbucks drive-thru window. I'd just ordered my coffee and was waiting at the window (for a really long time) and Doodle asked me to turn on "Rocky Sinus" to help calm the baby (she too, loves Miley). Of course, we need it full volume. And I forgot where I was and started to sing along.
I realized that, from the other side of the window, the teenagers waiting for their frappuccinos were laughing at me. Why? Cause I was not only blaring Miley, I was singing along, a little louder than I should have been considering I was at a drive-thru window.
But, in fairness I go through that drive-thru often enough that the women at the window know me and my children, and have been known to give me treats for Doodle to go along with my coffee. And I knew the music wouldn't bug them. I just didn't account for how ridiculous I looked singing along.
It's addictive though. Very addictive.
And far far better than Raffi. Safer too, because I knew the sign language to go along with Raffi, and me, driving any vehicle while signing the words to "Five Little Ducks" is much scarier than me trying to sing along to Miley Cyrus.
Or, come to think of it, maybe it's not!

The Nanny Decision

2008-05-16T22:41:00.002-04:00

One of the hardest decisions as a parent, in my opinion, is childcare.
Honestly, the decision of whether or not a parent will stay at home is a huge one. And, once that's decided (whether due to finances or choice or both) the childcare decisions happen.
This is something that we've been talking a lot about in our home.
I know for sure I'm going back to work. Some days it makes me sad, but I also know that I'll be okay with it and once I settle into it enjoy it. But we had to talk about childcare.
Doodle spent almost three years in various daycares. He thrived in them, and we were happy. I don't regret that he went. In fact, I think it was a fantastic decision.
But with 2 children the decision changes. Because our kids our 4 years apart, the daycare decision would be a problem for us. They would basically never see each other because provincial guidelines mandate that they would have to be separated - in the playground and in the facilty - due to age.
I hate that.
I mean, I understand why. It does not work to have infants on the same playground as 4 year olds. But, I also want my kids to see each other.
Add in the crippling cost of daycare centres multiplied by 2 children, and it's a lot of money for a situation I wouldn't be happy with.
So we were left with choices - home daycare or a nanny.
We have chosen to go the Nanny route.
Please don't tell me the horror stories - I have heard them and read them and am terrified by them. But, I also know that there are horror stories no matter what route you choose, and at some point you have to hope and pray that your choice works.
Tonight I interviewed a nanny who will likely be the nanny we get. She met a whole bunch of criteria, and when we discussed discipline techniques for 4 year old boys, we were totally on the same page. So, I think we've found a nanny.
Yikes.
I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.
Part of me doesn't want to think about all of this right now. But, I know that when I have all of this in place I will be more relaxed - not stressing about what's to come but enjoying the time with my kids.

Identity

2008-05-14T11:17:00.002-04:00

Identity has been on my mind a lot lately.

It's inevitable when there's a lot of change in life. In a few months I've left work (on mat leave), had a baby, become a stay at home mom, and in a week I'll be 30. All of it is good, but it's also a huge change. And, even though this has taken me by surprise, I am baffled by all of it.

Honestly, I'm lonely.

At work I had a function. I knew my role. I knew my colleagues. If anything I probably spent maybe a little too much time chatting on certain days. But, it's nice filling that role. It's great being "in the loop" and being invited for drinks. I love the fact that my job has me in the department that plans events. I love writing stories about people in the company. Sure it's work, and there are days when I want to scream. And there are days when I disagree with my colleagues. And I'll admit that some days have been really really bad.

And I kind of hate the GO train a lot of the time.

But. When I'm at work I have a handle on who I am. I know where I fit in. I am up on the gossip.

Here at home it's different.

I go to play groups and know nobody.

And when I make conversation I get the pleasantries and then everyone goes back to their friends and I can't break into the clique.

The gossip, it seems, is where there is a sale on Robeez, and how many of the kids are there with their nannies. Until you break in it's surface stuff. And it's hard. Brutally hard. Especially when, like me, you thrive on talking to people.

And, I miss my work friends. I know I can call and I do sometimes. But, I don't want to interrupt their days. And, it's kind of dumb to say "so ... today I went to a playgroup, gave Doodle 2 time outs, went to the playground. And and and ... they had good samples at Starbucks." (really, breakfast sandwich samples were a highlight today).

To be clear, that's not what I think Stay at Home Moms do. I know this. My sister is a SAHM extraordinaire and fills her day. And she often has coffee with me. I'd be insane without her and my mom.

But, when you're on leave it's hard.

When Doodle was a baby it was different. I had 2 friends to hang out with and I relied on them for sanity. We'd go to playgroups. And it was fine. But now I'm starting over.

And, really - I don't know where to start.

A Little of This A Little of That

2008-05-12T07:19:00.002-04:00

Mother's Day
Yesterday was a perfect Mother's Day. Phat Daddy surprised me with a trip to my favourite restaurant - Cheesecake Factory! This meant a trip to Buffalo (holding our collective breath since we don't have a birth certificate for the baby). We had a fun time. We didn't spend tons of money. We did shop at Target and Walden and had a blast.
I'm still ever so grateful for our portable dvd player for the van.

The Baby's Health
I had an *interesting* visit with the naturopath on Friday. Perhaps more details to follow soon. It was pretty stressful. But ... we believe the source of the baby's gassiness and sore tummy is a milk allergy. Since I'm breastfeeding it means eliminating all dairy from my diet except yogurt. It means NO CHEESE. So. I enjoyed the day yesterday and now I'm jumping on the dairy free bandwagon. I actually have a huge list of things that I should and should not eat (basically no sugar) and so I sort of feel like I'm drifiting in this new world of organics, no milk and little sugar. She tried to cut out my coffee consumption, but that may just kill me.

It's Almost my Birthday!
I'm turning 30. Eek. Actually, this isn't a huge deal to me. The 30 thing that is. What is a big deal is that it's my birthday. And, I am moving into another decade.
Lately I've sort of felt I'm ready to be in my 30's. I have 2 kids, a house and a van. Seriously. Not to mention I don't feel over the hill. My grandad is going strong at 99. I have a long way to go!

What Do You Think?

2008-05-08T17:35:00.003-04:00

Here's the baby. Take a look at her belly. I think it looks huge. As in African babies who don't get enough to eat huge (I have been and seen those kids - it looks the same). The doctor said it was a distended belly with too much gas. But there's nothing to do. (This article is helpful, but still. Doing a google search not so helpful.)
I'm not so sure.
She sent me to a pediatrician who basically said give her Ovol and she'll be fine.
She's not crying or anything, but she seems uncomfortable all the time.
So, tomorrow I'm bringing her to our naturopath (who used to be an OB/GYN) to see what she thinks. I'm not terribly worried, but I just feel like I need to check it out to make sure everything is okay. You know?
But, look how chubby my little girl is. I love her chubby cheeks! She's now 9 lbs 14 oz, up from 6 lbs 6 oz at birth. Soooo cute.

Always Remember Your Keys

2008-05-08T12:41:00.002-04:00

One of our cats, the little cat, likes to go outside.
We believe that cats should stay indoors, our cat feels she is an outdoor cat. It's a constant struggle.
Every day when I take the kids out of the house (which can be like 10 times a day) I have to get the baby in her stroller, make sure Doodle has his stuff, get my shoes, purse, etc. Then we get to the door opening procedure.
Doodle opens the door and holds it while I simultaneously pull the stroller out and push the cat back. It's kind of funny in an annoying way. Usually the cat gets out so then I have to park the stroller, keep my eye on Doodle and get the cat, who may or may not cooperate, and then put her in the house.
It's lovely.
So today.
We were going to Phat Daddy's office to pick him up and bring him home for lunch. (and then drive him home again ... don't ask)
Doodle was ready. He decided to open the door. I told him to close the door. He saw the cat and let her out. (he knows this is not allowed) Then he laughed and said "look. the cat is out." So dummy mommy runs out to get the cat.
And what does Doodle do?
Slams and locks the door behind me.
There I was, on the porch, cat in hand, knocking on the door while Doodle is beside himself laughing. I was shouting at him to let me in.
My neighbour, who was outside gardening, came over to tell me she'd been locked out as well, and not to worry. Apparently this is hilarious to 4 year olds (her kids are now in high school). At least I've been warned.
Someone is in big trouble today. And me ... I'm just glad that once I calmed down and told Mike I got through the whole story without laughing because I can only imagine how much of a super mom I looked like knocking on my own door.
We're officially one week into this staying at home with 2 kids thing and it's already killing me!

Addiction

2008-05-06T21:39:00.002-04:00

Doodle is completely addicted to soothers.

I know. He's 4. He should not have a soother. Trust me, we have been saying that since he turned 2. The problem is, he is completely addicted.

Doodle has had a soother since he was about 2 weeks old. We loved the soother. I, especially, loved the soother, since he always needed something in his mouth. When I went back to work (he was about 14 months) we didn't see the need to take the soother away. He was starting daycare and it was him comfort item. As a parent it's a lot easier to let your child go to daycare if you know there is something he loves.

When he was 2 he switched daycare, something just as emotional for me as for him, so there was no way we were going to wean him. Fast forward to turning 3 and we were on to more life changes - we'd just moved to a house and another daycare. We loved that soother. And on it went.

Someone suggested that we take the soother away at his fourth birthday. I couldn't do it. The thing is - he was getting a new baby. I figured that he needed it to comfort him. And, I didn't want him to relate the soother being taken with a new baby. And I didn't want him taking the baby's soother... And on the arguments went.

Until we realized that OUR CHILD IS 4 AND USES A SOOTHER.

I mean, it was constant.

So, Phat Daddy and I have put an end to this.

Here's the rule. The soother stays in the bed. We have an entire check mark behaviour reward system that goes along with it.

Doodle does always seem to want something in his mouth. We have replaced the soother with sugar free gum during the day. The child goes through as much gum as someone quitting smoking. Seriously. The kid is addicted.

Today in the van he said to me "I miss my soother". But, being the strong willed person I can be, I just said I was sorry, but he's 4.

The funny thing is, I think I'm having a harder time with him quitting than he is. I don't know why. Really, I think it's because I feel like I'm forcing him to give up something he really loves. And even though every part of me knows that he needs to give it up, for me it's hard. I hate taking it away from him. To me it seems like such a stupid thing to force him to give up. I mean, it's a soother. It's a piece of rubber and plastic that brings him comfort.

Seriously. What is my problem?

So, we're fighting the good fight. We're being strict parents. And, for the most part he's okay with it.

Want to know my secret? I usually keep one of his soothers on me in case of emergency. I feel better knowing it's in my purse. I stash it in there just in case something happens.

So far I haven't pulled it out. He's good. I'm good.

Who knew an addiction would be so hard to break?

At Least We Got a Playdate out of It

2008-05-02T16:26:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was Doodle's first day at home with me. He finished daycare on Wednesday.
In typical type-A fashion I planned a full day. It combined all sorts of fun stuff including a trip to Ikea, a doctor's visit for the baby, a haircut at Doodle's favourite place and then pictures with his cousins.
Okay, yes it was a little much, but I had confidence in my new SAHM skills.
It was all going so well until the doctor visit. You know, the well-baby visit that takes 10 minutes.
Not so much.
Our "well-baby" visit turned into a panicked trip to the ER after spending an hour at the doctor's office.
One minute everything was fine. The feedback was positive, the baby is gaining weight, etc etc. And then I asked about her tummy. It seemed rather bloated to me. The correct term, as I have learned, is distended. And, either she was totally fine or she was really sick. The doctor (whom we have now seen weekly, and who Doodle professed his undying love to yesterday), told me that she would really rather I see a pediatrician as soon as possible.
In the end everything is fine.
It truly was just a whole lot of gas. We're giving her Ovol and burping her a lot. But, we only found this out after 2 doctors saw her and she had a stomach x-ray. I was actually remarkably calm throughout the experience. And Doodle? He was amazing. He listened. He behaved. He sang Twinkle Twinkle every time the baby cried. Every.single.time! At the top of his lungs. But, hey. That's far better than him having a meltdown or running away. And who doesn't love Twinkle Twinkle? (answer: the nurse helping us yesterday).
But, while I was waiting for the x-ray I was sitting with a mother who I recognized. Our sons were in daycare together, and got along really well. We lost touch, but when we met at the x-ray lineup we decided to get our boys together for a playdate.
So, the whole day wasn't lost.
And as for the pictures. Well, I got the ones I needed done today, and we'll go for the cousin pictures next week.
Personally, I'm a little tired. Okay. Exhausted. It's a LOT harder being a SAHM to a 4 year old than it is to a newborn. I think next week we need to set up some sort of routine. As Doodle said to me today, it's his second day of staying home from daycare, and he hasn't actually been in his home.
Oops.

What's Going On?

2008-04-30T08:23:00.002-04:00

I know I know.
I haven't posted in ages - or at least ages for me.

I've been in a bit of a funk. Not a bad, depressive, woe is me funk. More of a staying at home, not doing much exciting, trying to recover from a cold kind of rut.
And, as exciting as I find my morning routine of watching Rachael Ray, having a shower, and not doing much else of note, I don't really can't imagine that is interesting to anyone other than me!

But ...

Today is Doodle's last day of daycare. It marks about 4.5 weeks since the baby's birth. I was going to keep him in daycare till the end of May, but I miss him. I hate drop offs, and I hate knowing that I'm at home and he's there. The recovery time has been fantastic, but I've been recovered from the birth for ages. This cold - not so much - but definitely the birth!

And, just to make tomorrow super exciting I've loaded the day up as much as possible. We have doctor's appointments, a haircut and pictures. And, since our water will be turned off, we're kind of using my parents' home as the command centre for lunch and baths, etc. It should be interesting. Wish me luck! I hope to maintain my sanity :)

Love

2008-04-23T08:20:00.002-04:00

On Monday my nieces came to visit and helped me play dress-up with the baby. One of my nieces chose the dress and then I delighted them both when I pulled out the sun hat.

It's just so much fun to have a little baby in the house. I feel like I missed so much of the joy the firs time around.

This constant phrase I hear from doodle every day is "I love my baby."
There's a joy and peace in our house that I never expected. I'm so grateful that we decided to have another, and that we're experiencing the enjoyment of having an infant.