Still Here

I realized yesterday that I rarely blog anymore. By rarely I mean about one time per week. It's not that there's nothing to say - it's just that with the beautiful weather, an active four year old and a baby who is getting busier by the day, I rarely have time to sit and compose my thoughts.
But, I did something brilliant. I put Doodle in a once-per-week home daycare program (which he loves) and I have a quiet 3 hours with the baby.
It's wonderful.
Doodle and I both need the break.
But, things here are going well. I'm happy. I'm relaxed. Phat Daddy and I rarely fight. I think we're finally settling into a routine. I feel like this year is a break for me. I'm feeling like I'm getting to know both of my children. And I'm enjoying being with them.
Sometimes I long to go back to work. And, knowing I will go back is calming.
Other days I have this heart-wrenching guilt that I'll be leaving my children during the days. That I'm not so good about dealing with. But, I know we'll get through it. I know we'll handle it. And deep down I'm aware that this time I'm spending with my kids is a break - it's a not a full-time forever job so we're still on a bit of a high from it.
I also know that if I need to take time to be with my daughter, like I've had this time with Doodle, I will not hesitate to request a leave of absence from work and take the time. I think about that sometimes. And I know, deep down, that there are answers and I have to let myself accept the choices I'm making.
Am I going back to work? Absolutely. But, I also know that it's okay. Breathe in breathe out. Move on.
See ... relaxed.
The other thing that is taking up my time ... Planning for our trip to Disney World. To say I'm excited is an understatement. I'm so looking forward to getting away and going to the Happiest Place on Earth. I think I'm probably more excited than all the kids combined (we're going with my parents and my sister's family). I can't wait for Doodle to see it. He has no clue. I also can't wait for the Cinderella breakfast with my niece and my little princess.
And, we're still continuing on this healthy path. We're now introducing foods back into Doodle's diet. I'm thinking he may have some sort of allergy to tomatoes and oranges. It's the acid thing. It's still all a theory. Once we do the food testing here we will get the hair analysis done.
Long story.
But, for now my princess is awake and we have laundry to sort.