My last Week

This is my last week at home with my kids.
It's hard to believe.
It seems like yesterday that my little baby girl was born.
And I discovered the joys of dressing up a baby girl!
And, it seems like only yesterday that I was getting ready for my baby boy to have his first day of kindergarten. I couldn't imagine dropping him off at the elementary school and trusting that his teacher would take good care of him.
But, I survived that. And Doodle is flourishing and loving school. I know this because yesterday we visited his classroom and he has changed so much. He's happy and listens and sits still during circle time. AND HE'S LEARNING TO READ!

And, it was just last week that our nanny started with us. And, I had to remember that just like I've trusted it's okay to bring Doodle to school and to daycare and to leave him with my sister. And, just like I have trusted the people at church to care for my princess in the nursery. I have to trust that I've made the right decision to go back to work and leave my children with a nanny.

And, it's all okay.

My kids are happy. After a couple of days the baby has stopped crying when I leave. She's happy with this lovely woman who sings to her when she cries and seems to have endless patience. And Doodle? He's just decided that the nanny is part of our family. And, though I'll someday havImage via Wikipediae to explain she's not really ... I'm thrilled he loves her so much.

And, I'm trying to understand my role. I'm trying to remember that the role of Mommy doesn't change for me. Maybe I won't be here all day every day, but I am still the one they want at the end of the day. I'm still the one that gives family cuddles and can throw the rules out the window and declare a Spongebob and ice cream day! I'm still the one who gets up in the night to nurse the baby. And I'm still the one who loves these kids more than anyone could ever imagine, except Phat Daddy.


And, this week I'm trying to relax and enjoy my kids, and appreciate that I've found someone who loves my kids and takes amazing care of them. Of course I'll be sad to go back, but every day I'm feeling better and better about the choice we've made. And ... it also helps that I got a hair cut, some new clothes and shoes, and I'm missing my work friends a whole lot!

Now, what should I wear on my first day back to work?

On the Up Swing

Our nanny has been here all week now.
The fears I had and then uncertainty that I was feeling are finally going away. Our nanny is amazing, and the children love her.
Everyday has gotten progressively better. The princess is beginning to understand what is going on. She's warmed up to our nanny, and by yesterday she was willingly going to her when I left the house.
The one thing that we are learning, though, is that it is far too confusing for her (right now) to play with the nanny while she knows I'm right there. For instance, if I want to cook and ask our nanny to play with the kids, the baby will sob because she knows I'm right there. It makes it a little difficult for us to do some stuff, but I don't see it as a huge issue. I've been going out more, and leaving her. And, she seems quite happy both when I leave and when I return.
I have to admit that having our contractor still working on the basement is making things a little easier. He has been telling me how things are going and reassuring me that she is very kind with the kids.
And, as for Doodle? He loves her. I was quite worried about him, but it wasn't necessary. He thinks the nanny is his new best friend, and has told me more than once that I can go back to work now.
I'm not taking that personally. I'm thrilled that he's ready for that. It makes me feel that as a mom I've done my job preparing him for me going back to work. And, I'm thrilled that we have found someone who seems to truly love my children.

And ... on a completely different note. I'm still doing really well on the diet plan from my naturopath. I got a bunch of blood tests back and learned a lot about what is going on with my body. The good news is that there's nothing wrong with me. Image via WikipediaThe bad news is that my metabolism is really slow and my hormones are out of whack. But, it seems like a lot of the changes I've made are working. I've lost 9 lbs since New Years! And, I don't really feel like I'm on a diet. I'm enjoying food and not craving sugar. So, life is good!

Overwhelmed

It's our first day with our new nanny.
To say everything right now is overwhelming is kind of an understatement. Doodle loves our nanny. He can't get enough of her. The baby ... not so much.
The baby wants me. I want to go and comfort her, and I can't. I mean, I can, but the truth is that I need to let her know our nanny is her friend. And I know it will all work out. But right now it's hard. It sucks to have the baby monitor on and listen and not go in and help.
But, it could be worse.
It could be worse because I could be going to work tomorrow - not next week.
I could be leaving my kids with somoene I don't like.
I could be putting them in a daycare when I'm not ready. Yes. This is good. But, it's also hard.

In Which I Jinx Myself

I'm kind of afraid to write this for fear of the jinx.
But ...
This new diet I'm on (thanks to my naturopath) is AMAZING. I'm basically following the Blood Type Diet. And taking some supplements. And, it's working. I'm beginning to lose weight.I know because my wii fit told me.
But, not only that. I'm feeling wonderful.
Usually I'm asleep by 10. Lately I've been up till 11 and then go to bed because it's time, not because I'm exhausted.
And, I feel well. Like, healthy and happy and ready to go. Not sluggish.
Oh - and I've lost a couple pounds.
I've cut out a lot. Basically my food does not include: wheat, dairy, pork or corn. I know this sounds excessive, but I'm totally dealing with it. And, enjoying it.
Love love love.

And the New Year Begins

Image via WikipediaI don't make a lot of New Year's Resolutions.
I used to do Weight Watchers and it drove me crazy when the room swelled because of the "resolution people" who dropped out in a couple of weeks.
So I vowed I would not be one of those people.
But, with all of the hoopla about diets, and the wii fit that we brought into our house (which weighs me all the time) weight had been on my mind. So, when I got an e-mail from my naturopath (she moved offices) that mentioned she works with people who need to lose weight ... I decided to book an appointment.
Here's the thing. I love my naturopath, but I never go for myself. I always go for my kids. I LOVE the results I've seen in my kids, but I just didn't think to go for me.
So, yesterday I went.
It was such a pleasant and uplifting visit.
In fact, weight wasn't even the main thing we spoke about. We spoke about my general health, and she kindly pointed out that I need to be working on my own health, and giving myself the same wonderful supplements I give my kids.
And we spoke at length about nannies, returning to work, and stress and anxiety. I can't tell you how much it put my mind at ease to discuss the medical side of the anxiety I was feeling and my kids are feeling.
And finally we got to the topic of weight.
As a result? I was worried that she'd say I was morbidly obese (I'm not). I was afraid she'd make me give up coffee (I can still drink it - but I have to cut back). I was afraid I would have to drastically change my diet. Okay.I do. But ...
I admitted that my willpower sucks especially when it comes to stuff like sugar and bread. For the first time ever she told me it's NOT a willpower issue. Apparently I have something that makes me more prone to craving sugar. Seriously. For the first time ever someone, a doctor, told me that I don't struggle with my weight because I can't control myself, but that it's actually a vitamin deficiency.
So, there's no diet plan, per se. There's no list of foods I can't eat. There's no point counting or calorie reading or any of that.
Instead I've been instructed on what I MUST eat. I'm taking protein shakes and eating a bunch of stuff I truly enjoy. I'm cutting out a bunch of stuff that I already know make my body not work. And, we're seeing how that all works for me.
Wish me luck. I'm looking forward to all of this!