Today's post was going to be about my frustrations as a parent.
It was going to be about how, by the end of the day I was exhausted. It's been a long few days with Doodle. Some of our concerns about him have been magnified, and lately terms like ADD and Sensory Processing Disorders have been thrown around. And, though of course we're looking into it, dealing with it, being the parent of "that child", not knowing what the next steps should be - it's hard. And, there have been lots of tears. And lots of hearing Doodle tell us that his "heart doesn't want to be bad but sometimes I just am" that makes me think life is unfair.
And yesterday did me in. Because between him having problems at vacation Bible school followed by a bad karate class I was as upset as he was.
But then. But then there was last night.
We had movie night as a family. And then it was bedtime.
And, while Doodle was trying to get to sleep I was trying to console our princess whose teeth are breaking through. Nothing was helping. We'd tried Motrin and nursing and rocking and everything. And she cried. A lot.
So Doodle got out of bed. And he came and he comforted her. Within a minute she was fine. She was smiling and reaching for him. And he held her hand and he sat with her and he sang to her until she had calmed down. And what made her happy was just lying with him while he patiently held her hand and calmed her down.
And then I realized that what he needs is exactly that.
He doesn't need parents who are angry at the system. He doesn't need a mom whose heart breaks and who cries when it's been a tough day. He need someone to hold his hand and tell him it's okay and figure out a way to make things better.
So we're starting over. We're making doctors appointments. We're giving him healthy food. We're working together and we're going to figure out what makes Doodle tick (for the good and the bad).
But, I have to tell you. I'm getting really scared about junior kindergarten. I've heard good things about his teacher. I'm just hoping everything works out.