Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Bad Guy

The title sequence of the {{w|Fleischer Studio...Image via WikipediaI know that parenting required you to be the "bad guy".
And, I've been doing a lot of reading on parenting lately, thanks to Doodle. (and this is good). One of the things I'm trying to do is figure out my reasons for saying yes and no to things. Like the other day he asked for gum and I said no, thought about it, and changed my mind.
I don't mind that.
But yesterday I went to the video store and picked up a couple of videos for us to watch with Doodle. The first was "Bee Movie" which was really good and we all enjoyed.
The second was one of the Superman movies.
Doodle is in a big superhero phase - as most 4 year old boys are. And, it's tough as a parent because some of the coolest superhero things being advertised are not for 4 year olds. For instance, Iron Man & The Incredible Hulk. We've found a middle ground and agreed that he can have stuff like t-shirts with the logos on them but he can't see the movies. He's been okay with this.
So, when I went to the video store yesterday on my own it was because I wanted to take the time to choose a movie that was age appropriate. And I found one! One of the Superman cartoons. I was pretty excited that we could watch it together. But, when we took it out of the case it was a different video. It was still Superman, but it was for older kids.
We decided to turn it on since we'd built it up with Doodle. We'd done make-your-own pizzas and it was a big deal to him.
But, for the first time ever, I turned a movie off while we were watching it as a family.
In the first 5 minutes Superman was in bed with his girlfriend, and Wonderwoman was attacked by some guy. And, it was a pretty brutal attack.
Another 5 minutes in Superman was a dad and he had to leave his son. When Doodle said "Daddy, I'd be sad if you ever left me" - I knew it was time to turn it off.
Surprisingly Phat Daddy was more annoyed at me than Doodle.
He felt it was okay because we were watching as a family. I didn't agree. I know we could have discussed it after the fact, but there were so many different themes to discuss I am not sure where we would have started.
But, Phat Daddy and I don't see eye-to-eye on movies all the time. Last night we rented The Bank Job (for us) and it was far too gory for me so I had to walk away. He said it wasn't that bad. Even our tv habits are very different. We pretty much only agree on House and the Amazing Race.
I wasn't surprised when I got the eye roll and huff when I decided to turn it off.
So tonight I was the bad guy. The bad guy supported, but not understood, by her husband.
I'm curious where other people draw the line.
As for me, maybe I'm a bit over-protective. And sometimes I try a little too hard to hold on to Doodle. But, at the end of the day he's only a kid once. And, I'll leave the super scary movies for when he's old enough to decide for himself what is too scary.
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Kerry J. said...

We're obviously not the right people to ask. We don't let R watch teletoon or ytv cause we're not crazy about the language. And we're talking minor stuff like stupid and dumb. Those are words I just don't like hearing from him. Like I said - we're strict.

SciFi Dad said...

I agree with what you did. If something struck your son that quickly for him to process it and verbalize it, it REALLY bothered him and needed to be stopped. Tell your husband to watch it after Doodle goes to bed.

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

It really is hard being the bad guy!

I find myself answering requests/questions with, "I'll think about it" or "That's a maybe and I'll let you know in a minute" so that I can buy myself a minute or two to truly think about my answer. I find myself throwing out random yes/no answers with no real reason for them and this strategy has helped.