Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Today was Doodle's first full day of school. Graduated entry is over and now he's there full days Tues/Thurs and alternate Fridays (which is pretty much once a month).
Today didn't go so well. He got several time outs for hitting and biting. When I picked him up he was sad. He just wanted lots of hugs. It broke my heart.
We've worked with him a lot. We've tried changing his diet so he eats well. We've made sure there's consistency in his sleep routines. We've used time outs. We've been trying to channel his energy at karate classes. I've been doing a lot of reading.
I'm totally frustrated.
I wish there was some way to figure it out, some magic explanation so he stops this behaviour, some method that we knew would work.
As a mom it's so deflating. It's not that I'm embarrassed. I'm not. He's my kid and I love him immensly. But, I'm worried for him. I don't want to let him down. I'm so scared that this behaviour, this thing that we can't figure out and that I'm not fixing is going to cause him problems down the road.
I'm worried that if he's mean at the age of 4, he'll start getting picked on as he gets older.
And, I'm terrified because in a few months I won't be picking him up at school everyday and making sure he's okay. I want to protect him, and I'm scared that I'm not.
And, I don't really know what to do.
For now I'm at a loss. I know I have to be patient. I need to let him settle into school and into the routine and to get to know his teacher. But, I don't want to wait too long and let him down. I want everyone to see the wonderful, smart, kind child I see.


Kerry J. said...

Couldn't blurf by without commenting. My heart breaks for you - not because of Doodle, but for the pressure you're putting on yourself. You will all get through this - it's the journey, not the destination. Hugs my friend - give him time to settle in - big changes.

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

It's just the first day. Those days are long and more than likely very overwhelming for him!

This may take time, but with the help of his teacher (and anyone else you bring in), you will figure this out for him. Try to be patient! It's not something that can be "fixed" over night. You have already done so much for him! He is very lucky to have you for a Mom!

Remember: One day at at time!

Be there for him, like you have been. Give him lots of lovin' and he'll be getting what he needs from you right now.

Steph said...

Were there activities that he enjoyed during the day? Did he meet any kids he liked? I think everyone has a hard first few weeks of school and just express it in different ways. Try to focus on the positives!

citygirl said...

Awww...I want to give YOU a big hug!

I watched my neighbour just about have a breakdown when her first child started kindergarten. The first 2 months were HELL. He had a bad day EVERYDAY. But then things changed. There was no magic; just time.

Then everything was fine and he LOVED school. He was sad when it was summer and couldn't wait to go back this year.

Badness Jones said...

You're an awesome mom, and you so obviously adore your kids - Doodle is going to be fine. School is a big change, and it just takes some kids awhile to hit their stride. My dad says that he got the strap every day in Grade One (he probably deserved it), let's just be glad we've got better courses of action available now....

Ginny said...

I know exactly what you are saying, trust me I do. It's all so overwhelming so give it some time, see how it goes.
I am starting to think that this protective instinct we have with our kids will never go away. I wish I could protect my girls from everything but they have to experience things the way we did no matter how heartbreaking. Actually my mom kind of laughs at me at how emotional I am over everything related to the girls. They sure pull my heart in so many different directions. Give it time.