What's Going On?

I know I know.
I haven't posted in ages - or at least ages for me.

I've been in a bit of a funk. Not a bad, depressive, woe is me funk. More of a staying at home, not doing much exciting, trying to recover from a cold kind of rut.
And, as exciting as I find my morning routine of watching Rachael Ray, having a shower, and not doing much else of note, I don't really can't imagine that is interesting to anyone other than me!

But ...

Today is Doodle's last day of daycare. It marks about 4.5 weeks since the baby's birth. I was going to keep him in daycare till the end of May, but I miss him. I hate drop offs, and I hate knowing that I'm at home and he's there. The recovery time has been fantastic, but I've been recovered from the birth for ages. This cold - not so much - but definitely the birth!

And, just to make tomorrow super exciting I've loaded the day up as much as possible. We have doctor's appointments, a haircut and pictures. And, since our water will be turned off, we're kind of using my parents' home as the command centre for lunch and baths, etc. It should be interesting. Wish me luck! I hope to maintain my sanity :)

Love

On Monday my nieces came to visit and helped me play dress-up with the baby. One of my nieces chose the dress and then I delighted them both when I pulled out the sun hat.

It's just so much fun to have a little baby in the house. I feel like I missed so much of the joy the firs time around.


This constant phrase I hear from doodle every day is "I love my baby."
There's a joy and peace in our house that I never expected. I'm so grateful that we decided to have another, and that we're experiencing the enjoyment of having an infant.

The Plague Has Hit Our Home!

you think I'm kidding. But I'm not. We are all down for the count.
It started with Phat Daddy getting sick. Then I got sick. Then Doodle got sick. Well, Doodle is a different sick, but that's another story.
The only healthy member of our family is the baby who is thriving on breastmilk and having a growth spurt in which she feels to eat every.single.hour of the day.
I'm losing my mind.
I hate being sick. But, usually I muster through. This one is killing me. I can't get rid of this fever and I keep getting the chills. And I just want to sleep but I can't because either the baby needs to eat or I'm too cold, or suddenly too hot, to sleep. And then I start sneezing or sniffling or coughing. It isn't pretty.
And now Doodle is sick.
He has this weird rash. He had a rash 2 weeks ago, but that was a fever rash. Now he has what looks to me like eczema. So, as a good parent I should bring him in to the doctor to get it checked out. But, truthfully the idea of going to the doctor with my 4 year old and the baby while I'm lacking in energy sounds terrifying - especially since I don't know this doctor that well. Part of me wants to call my doctor in Toronto and drive in there because she knows me. And, she would do something to make us all feel better.
But that's a very long drive when you're sick. The 10 minute drive to our local doctor seems long.
I can't completely complain here.
Dinner tonight was a WonderMommy Meals on Wheels which couldn't have come at a better time - much like last week's dinner. And, we have yummy leftovers for tomorrow. Woo Hoo!

I may end up calling in the recruits to help tomorrow. I'm sure my mom could help me at the doctor if I really need it. Or, I could probably go nap at my sister's and take a break. I know I have options. Phat Daddy is working, and can't take another sick day. So, this kind of sucks. I mean, it's good I'm home on mat leave. But uggggh.

I know I'm whining a lot. It's just that right now it's so hard to not whine. And I'm trying to be upbeat and positive for Doodle.

What I'd really like is a good night's sleep. I'm really questionning why I chose not to go the formula route. I know - a healthy baby, bonding, etc. But, I think tomorrow I'm introducing a bottle because how bad can supplementing be if it means we all get just a bit more sleep around here?

Don't forget the cats!

Every time we try to go out, I put the baby in her seat and then our kitten (who is almost a cat) decides that she would like to come with us.


See the basket - the convenient basket to load stuff like groceries and diaper bags? Well Little Cat has decided that this is actually where she sits for our outings. I'm not sure what would happen if I let her come to pick up Doodle at daycare with me!

Speaking of Daycare, yesterday I gave our 2 weeks notice. I love the daycare. The teachers are fantastic, and there's a great group of kids there. But, it's time. Doodle doesn't want to be there now. It breaks my heart to leave him. I think we're going to join the YMCA in our town instead. The way I see it, we can go swimming when we want to, it's a gym but so much more, and our whole family can go.
In addition to that, we can walk to the library from our house, Doodle is going to start karate. The way I see it, it was time.

The Daycare Debate

A few months ago Phat Daddy and I made the decision to keep Doodle in daycare till the end of May. The decision was based on the fact that I would be recovering from a c-section, I would be tired, and I would want the extra time to bond with the baby.
Fast forward to this past week, and I've been really questionning the decision to keep Doodle in daycare so long.
Yes, I like the daycare. It's a wonderful place. The teachers are fantastic. Doodle has lots of friends, and the parents who I know are great. I have no complaints.
But, Doodle doesn't want to be there anymore.
And, I'm hitting the point where I don't think I need him there.
Of course it's nice to have the house a little quiet. I have enjoyed being able to watch morning tv and taking it easy and often napping in the afternoon. I've enjoyed bonding with my baby and staying in.
But, I've been home for 2 weeks now. I'm feeling fine. The baby and I are well bonded. The nursing is under control. And ... I miss Doodle.
Today I took him to Tim Horton's before daycare. And we had a good time. He helped open doors for me. He listened when I asked him to sit still. And then it was time for daycare. As soon as I went to leave he started to cry. It was that awful moment where I knew he was trying not to, but he really was sad. And then I was sad. So, we were both trying not to cry. (And, of course the baby chose this time to let us know that she was hungry and she started to cry!) And I ended up promising to pick him up after nap. So, all in all it's a pretty short day. And, I'm sitting here wishing that I'd just kept him home. But, knowing that I can't just give in and we're paying and all of that.
So, I think we're giving our 2 weeks notice.
Believe it or not, I'm ready to be a SAHM to 2. Yikes! Scary. I'm not fully sure how I'll handle it, but I'm thinking I'll take it one day at a time, visit the library and playground often, and hope things work out.

Ahhhhhhhh,,, Quiet (for now)

It's almost 4pm.
In 5 minutes I have to go upstairs and wake my boys up. (I'll let the baby sleep). I sent them both upstairs for "quiet time" aka a nap to get themselves ready for Doodle's birthday party tonight.
Then I fed the baby and once she was asleep I put her in the bedroom also, so all three of them are asleep in one room.
And I'm sitting here, in the quiet, with the tv off, enjoying the peace for just a few moments before I wake everyone up, start bath time for Doodle, and get Phat Daddy packing the van for the play place where we will hold Doodle's party.
I think we have everything ready. Yesterday my mom came over and filled lootbags with me. Phat Daddy made an AMAZING arial firetruck cake. We have ordered pizza and of course sent out invitations. I'm not sure of the exact number of people coming tonight. It was a little dumb to send out invitations the week I was giving birth. Phat Daddy would sit in the hospital checking our voicemail and say "Robert is coming" and we'd be happy, and then neither of us would write it down.
So, we have a guesstimate, and I've hired a couple of babysitters to help curb the madness, so we should be set.
And then tonight, well, I'd say we'll all sleep well. But, I will be awake every hour or 2 feeding the baby. But, hopefully in between feedings I'll sleep well.
The important thing is that tonight Doodle enjoys his party. He's been incredible with his baby sister. He kisses her all the time and hugs her, and always wants to help in some way. And, there's been a lot of change in the last few weeks.
So tonight I want it to be about him and his friends. Maybe I've gone a little overboard (as usual) trying to make it perfect, but truthfully, I want him to know that no matter what he's special to us. I think he knows that. But, I like to remind him as much as I can.
Gotta go wake him up. And, I have to find him matching socks. Both of those could be huge feats in themselves.

Doodle Turns 4

Doodle's birthday was on Sunday. My little boy is 4!!! I can't believe it.
His birthday party is actually this coming weekend. Thank goodness since last Saturday he was sick and covered by a rash.
Anyway ...
Can you guess what his birthday gift is?
That's right. Karate lessons!!!
He's so excited. We're probably starting lessons when he's done daycare.

What's In a Name?

Doodle has lots of nicknames.
Of course we call him Doodle (derived from Monkey Doodle). We also call him Monkey, Love Bug, Sweetie, Dude, and I'm sure there are many more that I can't think of.
The point is we often refer to him by one of his nicknames. It just happens. All of these names have come from somewhere, and they are so commonly used by Phat Daddy and I that we don't even notice we're using them.
But right now the baby doesn't have a nickname.
That's not entirely true. I've been so obsessed with princess stuff before she was born that many of my friends call her "the princess". It's not an insult or anything it just is what it is. And I kind of like it. But, when I call her Princess it sounds like I'm talking to a cat.
So, at this point we're still trying out the terms of endearment.
Yesterday she was crying and I said to her "it's okay, Sweetie."
Doodle came up to me and said "Wait just a second. I'm your sweetie. Why are you calling her Sweetie?"
I said he was right, and if he wanted he could choose a name to call her.
He thought about it for a really long time and finally he came up to me and said "I know, Mommy. Let's call her our little p*nis."
He meant it with the most kindness possible which is why I thought it was adorable. But ... we're still working on a nickname.

And I was worried

I have heard lots of horror stories about siblings not accepting a new baby.
I knew Doodle was pretty excited about having a sister, but I was a little worried about what would happen once reality set in around here.
Afterall, we're paying a lot of attention to the baby, and Doodle has had to be patient while I've nursed the baby and couldn't do something for him immediately. He hasn't said much, just been his normal happy self.
So yesterday we were all sitting at the doctor's office and Doodle told me he thinks we should have another baby. Another girl.
I asked him why. He said "it's just that I love our baby so much I think we should have more."
We've always discussed 2 children. We once debated 3, but that was before Doodle came along and we realized how hard this parenting thing can be. I'll admit that this baby is pretty easy, and there have been a couple times this week when I've been cuddling and nursing and enjoying the joy that is having a new baby, and wondered if this is for sure the last time.
And then I realized that really I think 2 is it for us.
But, at the same times these feelings of having so much love and enjoyment that I'd consider it again are so so so welcome in my life. I struggled so much with Doodle at first, not bonding, feeling like he didn't love me, sobbing and crying over the physical and emotional pain that it's a totally incredible emotion to feel this calm happiness.

Our Baby Girl

Our little baby girl was born on Friday, March 28th at 12:29 pm. She weighed 6 lbs 6 oz and as far as we are concerned she is perfect!
I'll write more soon. But, for now we're still collecting ourselves, getting through feedings and trying to take it easy.
Here is one of my favourite pictures of her.